I feel like my adhd is why I feel like a man.
Me (19 ENBY/AFAB) I have for the majority of my life felt like a man at heart. And it sucks!
Now I do identify as non binary for a very autistic reason which is a full rejection of the gender binary and wanting nothing to do with it. but there's this maddening lingering feeling still.
Call it a lack of female representation, black and white thinking or anything else, but I cannot procrastinate once without feeling like the biggest disappointment ever, and not just that but when I think of disappointment I think of men.
As a feminist I totally believe that men are the biggest slackers ever, by design (of the patriarchy not like some bio essentialist bs) i believe that the act of slacking off and loading someone else (a woman specifically) with your shit is a thing that men do. Also the part where I have struggled with empathy for most of my life, empathy felt like an instinctous thing for all the girls/ women in my life. And as a feminist I also believe that is by design of the patriarchy, women arbitrarly grow up to be empaths. While that did not happen to me, in fact I found myself relating more to my male peers. And that made me ashamed to my core when that whole "pick me" thing started.
And I believe that it is why I have felt terribly ashamed of my ADHD tendencies for a long time, and not just ashamed, I believed fully that it only meant on thing And that thing is that I am a man at heart.
Now I think this line of reasoning is not correct as I have finally came to understand my own situation of this equation, but I see it as a really good explanation of why I felt the way I felt as an ADHD AFAB person. And I believe that is a lot of other adhders' experience too so I'd like to know if this feels relatable :)
NOTE: please read my replies in the comments for further elaboration, this post was pretty impulsive I might have phrased some things in a way I did not mean.
NOTE 2 : I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE IDEALS OF GENDER ROLES! I DO NOT BELIEVE MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ONE WAY OR THAT WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER!!! MY LANGUAGE HERE IS RHETORICAL.
I am just observing how growing up as an AFAB person with audhd affected my perspection of my gender identity and I'm sharing it because it is interesting to me and I want to know if someone else has had similar experience.