Are we exposing bad coaches or just bullying people we don't like?
I say this with genuine respect for the admin because I actually think the original intention behind this sub is incredibly important.
There SHOULD be somewhere people can compare experiences, question outrageous claims, expose unethical coaching practices, and protect vulnerable people from spending thousands of dollars on promises that aren't real.
That's literally why I came here. I had a bad feeling about a coach I was working with and wanted somewhere I could hear from people who weren't trying to sell me something.
But the longer I've spent here, the more uncomfortable I've become with what this place sometimes turns into.
And the post I just replied to honestly broke my heart a little.
Someone was talking about wanting to start their OWN coaching business and being genuinely afraid that someday they'll end up posted here.
Think about that for a second.
Someone who hasn't even done anything wrong yet is already afraid of being publicly humiliated by a community that supposedly exists to expose people who HAVE done something wrong.
I'm sorry, but that's not accountability.
its a culture of fear.
And when innocent people are afraid to pursue something because they're worried a group of anonymous strangers might someday dissect their appearance, finances, relationship, house, clothes, personality and every awkward screenshot they can find of them, we've crossed a pretty significant line from consumer advocacy into bullying.
Yes, I understand this is a snark page. Snark is funny. I enjoy snark.
But calling someone fat isn't consumer protection.
Making fun of someone's face isn't consumer protection.
Speculating that someone's marriage is miserable isn't consumer protection.
Laughing because somebody's business had a bad month isn't consumer protection.
It's bullying with a morally flattering explanation attached to it.
And ironically, once that becomes normalized, it actually makes this place LESS useful for exposing genuinely unethical coaches because now I don't know which criticism is based on evidence and which criticism exists because everyone has collectively decided they hate somebody.
That's not critical thinking. That's just another echo chamber.
And I'm going to say something else that probably won't be popular:
Some of the comments here genuinely make me wonder whether we're criticizing unethical wealth marketing or whether some people simply resent people who have money.
If someone claims they make $5 million a year and they're lying, PLEASE expose that. Bring screenshots. Bring receipts. That's exactly what I came here for.
But “lol I bet they're broke” isn't evidence.
And neither is obsessively celebrating every indication that someone's business might be struggling.
At some point I start wondering: are we investigating someone's claims, or are we emotionally invested in watching them fail?
Those are VERY different motivations.
And I'm sorry, but I also don't believe that most happy, fulfilled people who are busy building careers, businesses, families and lives they're proud of spend hours zooming into strangers' bodies and laughing at them.
That doesn't mean everyone here is miserable or unsuccessful. Obviously not. I've actually seen some incredibly thoughtful criticism here, which is exactly why this bothers me.
The intelligent posts are buried between comments that sound like middle-school bullying with therapy vocabulary sprinkled over them.
And then people wonder why outsiders don't take snark communities seriously.
The saddest part is that people who genuinely need help are caught in the middle.
Apparently our options are:
Trust the “successful” coach who might be manipulating us and lying about their life...
OR
come somewhere like this and hope the anonymous person telling us they're lying isn't projecting their own anger, jealousy or unresolved shit onto a stranger.
How exactly is someone vulnerable supposed to know who to trust?
Maybe the standard should be incredibly simple:
If there's evidence, post it.
If somebody lied, demonstrate the lie.
If somebody mistreated a client, let the client speak.
If somebody made fraudulent claims, document them.
But someone's stomach, face, spouse, house, clothes, fertility, aging, weight or attractiveness should have absolutely nothing to do with whether they're an ethical coach.
And if saying that makes me “too sensitive” for a snark page, fine.
I'd rather be sensitive than slowly become the kind of person who mistakes cruelty for discernment.
Because if aspiring coaches who haven't even done anything wrong are already scared of us, maybe we should at least entertain the uncomfortable possibility that we're not always the good guys in this story.