u/Midnightdreary353

Greetings r/wizardposting I am the Dark Lord Umbrus Nox, Necromancer, Archlich, Evil, and Sometimes an Ascendant Deity (depends on the mood).

Anyways, I have once again escaped from the realm of eternal torment that I was ever so rudly imprisoned in for the last thousand years,

I have decided in my infinite and manevolent wisdom to grace you all with my glorious pressence and reintroduce myself to the arcane community by answering questions.

Ask me anything about things like the past, how I feel about the present, necromancy, evil overlordship, undeath, forbidden rituals, the afterlife, ancient grudges, or why your great-great-great-grandfather absolutely deserved what happened to him.

So I've been relying on mindless undead minions for the last few hundred years, but after a group of adventurers raided my last lair I lost access to some of my old necromancy rituals that are no longer supported by the manufacturer and had to "upgrade" to the "new and improved OS".

At first it was great, they where much more efficient, better at problem solving... but that was the issue, they where too good at these things and even though they are supposed to be mindless, they started showing weird and outlandish behaviour like taking breaks and wearing saftey equipment.

Then one of the skeletons handed me a parchment detailing "workers conditions".

So naturally I vaporized the the entire hoard and tried again.

This time though, once the new hoard learned what happened to the last one, they decided to unionize. Now they are demanding workers rights like dental, holidays, and the right to refuse unsafe conditions. They have now formed a picket line outside my lair.

I could vaporize them and start another hoard again, but I'll just wind up back in the same spot and its a real pain to have to collect enough corpses for a hoard every few months. I was hoping someone had a solution to this problem, preferably one where I dont have to waste funds on giving ghosts and animate hands dental.