Topamax ruined 12 years of my life.
Back in 2012, I was under a lot of stress and migraines came to visit fairly often. One of my piano students was a neurologist, though not a migraine specialist. I went to see him anyway, because I knew him, and he prescribed Topamax. It was still fairly new, and know side effects were the dislike of soda, foods, and loss of weight. I dug the weight loss, but got the stupids in midst of Anatomy and Physiology. 6 hours a day to power through that course.
My husband and I were to be married in 2013. I started to feel depressed at the beginning of that year, but put it down to family trauma. I saw a therapist who put me on an SSRI, and did she did not touch the Topamax because it was helping with my migraines.
By the time my wedding rolled around, it was the only thing I could see. Beyond that, there was nothing to live for. Even with an amazing job, loving husband and family, I hit a downward spiral. In 2014, I felt suicidal ideation. I was anxious. When I made an attempt, my family put me in the hospital mental ward.
It was a very good move, and saved my life. I was then transferred to an inpatient long-term program that added a bunch of meds that I am still on - Gabapentin, Trazadone, and the dreaded Clonipin. Then Pristique, lately. I have PRNs of Fioricet and Zofran, and my neurologist put me on Quilipta, which I think is helping, because I am pretty sure the Topamax is part of my homeostasis by now.
Getting to the point. I had a respiratory problem which triggered my acute asthma, and have been isolated in my rented room for almost two months. In thosr months I have been meditating for anxiety, and had revelation after revelation. One of them was to look up Topamax.
When I found that it can cause depression and suicidal ideation, I got so angry. Twelve years of my life… and that medication was never questioned. I never thought! So even if it causes me pain, I am GETTING OFF OF THIS DRUG.
And then, I hope, the dominos will fall, and I will be able to see life in the way I used to.
Thank you for reading this warning.