u/MimiTheWitch

I've been through a lot in the last year, but it was usually easy to maintain perspective on things during the struggle. When things are bad for me it's easier to have faith/take things seriously simply because my suffering is so great and it's obvious how much help I need.

Now my meds have been adjusted and I'm finally feeling normal for the first time in almost a year. And while that sounds like great news, I've actually found myself playing more video games and I even broke my month long celibacy streak under almost no pressure.

What do you all do to maintain perspective during good times? Death contemplation? Asubha? Things have been bad for so long I don't know how to handle the good!

I have been feeling rather demoralized lately with the practice. This is due to struggles in other areas of my life, but the path feels insurmountable while I stand here near the beginning (solid 5 precepts and celibacy, dabbling in the 8 precepts)

I wonder if I just need an attitude adjustment. Instead of seeing "this is where I'm falling short" perhaps I could see "look at how much I've already given up." What are others thoughts? Words of encouragement?

I have an upcoming surgery and I'm wondering if taking opioid painkillers afterwards is wise. Are medicinal intoxicants mentioned in the commentary at all?

Lately I have been struggling much with anxiety and fear. I have been spending time with it and trying not to act out of it (mentally or physically) but I feel stuck.

This anxiety has been triggered by my life essentially falling apart; I got sick, lost my job, and now likely have to go on disability insurance. Alongside all of this anicca and dukkha there has arisen a strong desire to control my life and have things remain the same, yet I see first hand that everything is impermanent and outside my control.

I wonder what advice HH or this community might have. Is it simply not acting out of the fear? Do I just need patience to grieve all these things I clung to? (It does seem to be getting better over the last month) Or should I focus more on recollecting anicca or some other dhamma?

Thank you friends.