The final boss
Hi guys,
My home defense will be at 21st of May and I must say that I am lower than low mentally.
I wrote my thesis in 3 months because last year I was sure I will just let it go and not finish it. But I did, my paper got published and my way cleared to defend it in front of the committee. However, you can imagine that writing it in 3 months while working a full time job resulted in a rather catastrophic dissertation. And rather hurting reviews from the committee.
Not only that but I need to clean it up, revise it, rewrite it (I did that mostly, but I still have much work to do and no energy) and I will have only two weeks after the defense to print it out and deposit it at the university.
I am stressed, every single time I try to work on that thing, or make my ppt I got a rush on my chest from stress. I tried to initiate it - as any good researcher would - because at first I thought it was from some kind of food, but not. It's from this idiotic dissertation. My throat feels like a stone is sitting there but at least I didn't have a panic attack yet.
I need some advice on how to calm down because this is ridiculous. I don't even care anymore how I will go through it, or if they will let me go to the real defense, I just want to survive, because it sure as hell feels like I won't be able to.
Thanks for anyone who could help with this. Walking helps but just until I sit back down to write, then it starts again.