Constant Negativity - Venting
**Venting / Ranting ** Married for decades. Wife now regularly is very annoyed with people she works with and with me. I've gotten reasonably good at not reacting anymore. As to some of the work stuff, the underyling reason for the annoyance is reasonable, but the reality of life is that some people are frustrating. Also, if I made some equivalent professional decisions based on equivalent annoyances, I'd wager a non-trivial amount about her talking about my male insecurity / male fragile ego.
Because of her work, she is very familiar with the peri and meno literature and research. But continues to be of the view that she is not in peri, even though various other things she has experienced at least raise a question. [To preempt comments about seeing a specialist and HRT, she already shut that down, and I may as well just serve divorce papers if I raise that.]
I don't buy into the choreplay discourse popular in different subs or and think that keeping "score" is very not good a marriage, but that premise hit recently after she sent a video about the load of women doing everything (presumably triggerred by her deciding to go handle a certain household task for the first time in several weeks). In recent years I do the majority of household task or I coordinate the persons we hire to handle.
[In times before that she did handle many house management task or we hired someone because I had a job that paid several multiples of what she makes, but I left that because she wanted us to have more time together, though she then decided to transition her work to require very long hours, without much of a change in compensation and then recently opted for something where the long hours stay the same but compensation goes down.] When I have made various career decisions, we discussed things before I acted, but for her recent decision she informed me that is what is happening, so I need to ensure I make up that change in our household income, which I can do, but that has generated negative comments about my work hours.
Got some additional negative comments tonight about my career choices, health choices (even though my PCP thinks all is well, workout somewhat regularly, and I have had to push her to get basic health checks), and overall life choices, that are hard to take. I'd acknowledge that there are places where I can improve, like most adults, but if I raised some equivalent items or suggested a medical response to peri....
Just venting.