He’s exactly my type
Although my AP and I are in a good place right now, I can’t help but to think about all of the possible outcomes of this. We’ve been together for 2 and a half years now and I often find myself thinking about the future. Will we stay together? Will we become legit? Or will I eventually have to give this up and move on?
The thought of moving on sucks! And I have a fear that if this ends, I’ll never be able to find someone like him again. He is exactly my type (minus the infidelity). His hair, his height, his skin, his face, his body, the way he dresses, his sense of humor, his mannerisms, the way he carries himself, the way he takes care of his home, his work ethic, even our age gap- he has absolutely everything I could ever want in a partner. He’s much older than I am and I find his age makes me even more attracted to him. The sexual and physical connection is so strong between us, unlike anything I’ve experienced before. He’s always making me laugh and he really motivates me to succeed. He’s so damn attractive to me that I’m insanely jealous of his SO for even being with someone as beautiful as him and knowing she doesn’t appreciate him the way she should, based off of things he’s told me.
Of course there’s some unfavorable qualities about him (like the cheating, conflict averse, inconsistent, etc.) but after being around this long, I guess I’ve accepted them. But I am afraid I’ll never find someone that checks all my boxes the same way he does. Even down to the little details. He has discussed the possibility of leaving his SO but the “what if” thoughts always remain in my mind. The thought of one day potentially having to move on from him is so scary.
Does anyone else feel this way about their AP/MM/MW?