u/Mini-Heart-Attack

idk what im missing more. But it’s something from before

I don’t know where to start

i did whenever you got me talking

wonder what I’d say this time.

I’ve got so much to tell you

but you’ve gone and passed away

ive got so much to tell you

but I cant see u and I’ll never get that chance

I’ve been through so much without you

found So much more purpose

so much healthy heartache

so much more adventure

so much more confusion

so much more addiction fir avoidance

So much more anguish and strife

I long for the way it was

i miss my pain I miss my life.

I miss my cage, I miss my shackles.

I miss the impossible things I was after.

. truth is I miss getting to know to someone

I could see real future in

I miss control and substance

and a semblance of stability that only makes sense to the abused.

I miss that muse. Miss recurring darker emotions, realer emotions.

I miss it so much it pains my heart.

but I also miss you strongly too

I miss you stroking my only scar (at the time)

I miss feeling healed (naively) after good conversations.

Andhaving no clue how I could ever be here without you.

I miss feeling like I would never be faced with that.

I miss my gf.

I miss feeling unbreakable in the moments between fear.

I Miss my dear friend.

the person who always had my back

and how she bounced back After every mini heart attack.

I value myself and I miss old me, I do.

But I miss us too.

I miss our shared dream.
Our stupid Hedonismic

approach to life,

our definition of together.

our forever. Its so strange

in this different life

trying to rebuild

It hurts me. Drives me insane

because I can’t

make it worth it.

I can’t see this timeline clearly

I don’t believe in it yet.

There’s something and someone im missing.

I want something to turn to.

something from that life I had every

ounce of faith in.

I’d be happy To recomplicate things

But im a million miles away

and im about 6 years

too late to see you.

Sweer Broken Bird

I hope the sun shines a little brighter for you broken bird

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I hope your grass grows greener and you learn not to yearn.

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I hope your wings come back as the seasons change

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I hope you remember who you were before you were afraid

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I hope you feel love, know the true meaning of the word

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I hope you’re safe.
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That you never talk yourself down, never mark yourself up your arms and legs

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I hope you give yourself grace

-

And you’re confident when you wake.
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I hope your clips are always handy & your hair doesn’t fall in your face.

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i hope your smile lines out shine your frown lines. Lines time will not erase.

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And I hope every time you crinkle your face- that it’s for a laugh, for a grin

—for excitement that you just can’t keep in.

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I hope you find closure. I hope you do it all for her

-

and for yourself.

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I wish to see you in good health,

-

broken bird.

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I’ve known your wings sore for countless hours, countless years

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But 1 day you will transcend.

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Past all the pains & all the fear.

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Youll see it too,

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all I hope for you.

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beautiful bird.