u/MiniMinx98

I don’t know if I belong here, but I really just want to not feel alone for a few minutes.

Growing up, I always had stomach issues. Throwing up after meals, before school, during school — it’s been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It followed me into college and adulthood too. I’ve also struggled with pretty severe anxiety and depression for most of my life.

I never intentionally made myself throw up, at least not that I remember. Gagging has always just… happened. Sometimes it leads to throwing up, but honestly half the time it feels more like a burp reflex than anything else.

Over the years I’ve had multiple endoscopies, all “normal.” I even had the test where they attach something to your esophagus and you carry around the monitor box for 24 hours — also normal. Recently I finally had a gastric emptying study for gastroparesis.

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve lost about 20 pounds because I can barely eat or keep food down. I’m eating maybe a third of what I used to. I’ve always been overweight (probably technically obese), and this is honestly the first time in my 28 years that I’ve consistently lost weight instead of gained it.

The gastroparesis test showed 76% emptied after 239 minutes. Everything I read made it sound mild to moderate, but my doctor said it was normal. I know I shouldn’t be disappointed hearing “normal,” but honestly… I thought I finally had an answer. I thought maybe I could stop feeling like this was somehow my fault or all in my head.

Now I feel like I’m back at square one. And trying to communicate with my doctor since the test has been frustrating as hell.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for posting this. Maybe just to hear from someone who gets it.

I don’t know if I belong here, but I really just want to not feel alone for a few minutes.

Growing up, I always had stomach issues. Throwing up after meals, before school, during school — it’s been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It followed me into college and adulthood too. I’ve also struggled with pretty severe anxiety and depression for most of my life.

I never intentionally made myself throw up, at least not that I remember. Gagging has always just… happened. Sometimes it leads to throwing up, but honestly half the time it feels more like a burp reflex than anything else.

Over the years I’ve had multiple endoscopies, all “normal.” I even had the test where they attach something to your esophagus and you carry around the monitor box for 24 hours — also normal. Recently I finally had a gastric emptying study for gastroparesis.

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve lost about 20 pounds because I can barely eat or keep food down. I’m eating maybe a third of what I used to. I’ve always been overweight (probably technically obese), and this is honestly the first time in my 28 years that I’ve consistently lost weight instead of gained it.

The gastroparesis test showed 76% emptied after 239 minutes. Everything I read made it sound mild to moderate, but my doctor said it was normal. I know I shouldn’t be disappointed hearing “normal,” but honestly… I thought I finally had an answer. I thought maybe I could stop feeling like this was somehow my fault or all in my head.

Now I feel like I’m back at square one. And trying to communicate with my doctor since the test has been frustrating as hell.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for posting this. Maybe just to hear from someone who gets it.