u/Minimum-Ad4541

My sister says I’m giving slutty secretary vibes. What do yall think?

Looking for some advice on love, and relationships, I’m hoping some of yall will be able to empathize… right before the start of my transition,a year and a half ago, I was still on grindr(🤮), and I met a guy on there who lives across the street from me. We’ll call him Bob. Bob(he’s 38, I’m 26) and I were only supposed to be a one night stand, he lives his life as a straight man. Well, we hit it off, and ever since then we see each other almost every other day. Bob always says he loves me and adores me, but until recently, he just kept saying he needed more time to ‘get to know me’ in order to be in a relationship with me. I insisted that I wouldn’t give him exclusivity until he took me on a date, in public. I fell in love with him almost immediately after meeting him, but Bob has been extremely hot and cold. Example: He refused to take me on a date, but he got me a job at the company he was working for… It feels to me like the only time I break through his thick skull is when I’m crying…
I have dated a few people since meeting Bob, and it has led to big arguments where he would curse me out, and claim that I’m just going around sleeping with people. He’s never hit me physically but he IS a very aggressive person.
Most recently, I made it clear to Bob that I’m done. I met a man that isn’t ashamed, sees me for who I am, no issues being in public, taking me on dates, etc etc. Bob doesn’t know but he knows that I’m frustrated and unhappy and at the point of cutting things off. Last night, I tried to stand my ground and close things off with him, because I really like this guy I met recently. He cursed me out, and I stopped responding… this morning he wants to act like normal. He begged me to let him come talk to me, and I let him.
Bob says he will change for me, that it’s never going to happen again. He’s ready to go the distance with me…. We almost had sex, and I had to stop him because even though he can be very convincing, I know that sex makes my decision making cloudy. I asked him to at least give me a day to think. He doesn’t want to do that. He says that space just means I’m ‘deading’ him. I’m just so conflicted and TIRED. Idk what to do. Any advice?
This is a VERY shortened version of everything that has happened so if yall have questions I’m open to answering them… I’m attaching a piece of our conversation so yall can see for yourselves. As you can see, he wanted to just invite me to an amusement park like nothing… I don’t have any trans girlfriends and I really need to hear from women that have shared experiences with me.