How did you heal your mother wound? cPTSD?
Not sure if this is the right page for this but feeling a little lost on my healing journey from a narcissistic alcoholic mother. I am not sure if I suffer from cptsd but I really lack a lot of memories from childhood all together. It feels as if I have a soft outline with a couple core general memories like my mother calling me a bitch or times when I had to bring her to the hospital when she injured herself, etc. But often times in my day to day it feels like I really am disassociated from my childhood if that makes sense. I have been in talk therapy for the past couple years and that has been good I definitely have made progress in my self worth and decided to go no contact for the past year and a half. Starting depression medication also helped me cope with a lot of the heaviness from the lack of parental support since an early age. I think I struggle with the lack of validation of my emotions from my parents since i was born, most of my emotions feel like a separate entity from my memories or experiences. Even times where I am crying it feels like I am having an out of body experience. I just started listening to the podcast mother mayhem which explores experiences of people who are recovering daughters of narcissistic mothers. After listening to one episode on cptsd I honestly got really nauseous and had a hard time listening to the actual content and just had to turn it off. I guess I am just feeling lost with everything and was hoping people have maybe felt similarly to me. Sometimes this healing journey feels isolating and not sure when it gets better.