u/Miserable-Video8370

I’m a little nervous to post this but here we go haha.
I’m 21 and I’ve been living in Paris for 4 years now. I moved here alone at 18 and since then I’ve been doing everything on my own. Not because I wanted to prove something, but because I had no choice. Independence was never my dream, it was just my reality.
I’ve always been ambitious, I’m a philosophy student and I think a lot, maybe too much. But somewhere along the way I got really honest with myself about what I actually want, and what I want is a traditional life. A real home, a man I can take care of and who takes care of me, maybe babies someday. That’s it. That’s the dream.
I’m warm, I’m loyal, maybe a little too much. I have BPD so I feel everything very intensely and I love very deeply. I get attached easily and I give a lot to the people I love. I know that can be a lot for some people, but for the right person I think it just means they’ll always know how loved they are.
I’m very, very submissive and I’ve always known that about myself. What I’m really looking for is a TPE dynamic, total power exchange, where my partner has full authority and I can just surrender completely. Not because I have no mind of my own, I do, I think deeply about everything. But because giving myself fully to someone I trust is the thing that feels most natural to me. I don’t want to negotiate every little thing, I want to belong to someone. I want to be guided, shaped, taken care of in that deep and total way.
I’m still figuring a lot of things out but I know what kind of woman I want to be.
What I’m looking for is someone older, established, who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to lead. I want to be someone’s person completely. I don’t have a huge social circle here so I never meet anyone organically, and dating apps feel impossible for finding something real like this.
If any of this resonates, talk to me :)

I’m 21 and I live in Paris. I moved here from another country at 18, alone, and since then I’ve been managing everything by myself, finances, housing, studies, all of it. Not because I’m some fierce independent woman who chose that path, but because it was the only way out. Independence was never a dream for me, it was an escape.
I’ve always been ambitious. But lately I’ve started to realize that my actual dream, the thing I genuinely want, is to be a tradwife. Not because I gave up on myself, but because I finally got honest with myself about what would actually make me happy.
And now a few years in, I’m exhausted. The older I get, the more I crave stability and security over everything else. A partner who provides, a home that feels safe, being able to focus on building a life together rather than scrambling alone. That’s not a step back for me, it’s what I actually want deep down.
The hard part is finding it. I’m drawn to older men, someone established, grounded, who knows what he wants. But dating apps are a nightmare for that. You either get guys my age who aren’t looking for anything serious, or older men who just want something casual. There’s no real space for what I’m actually looking for.
And I don’t have a big social circle here. I moved countries at 18, built everything from scratch, and I don’t have the kind of network where you just naturally meet people. No friend groups, no organic encounters. It feels like the relationship I want exists somewhere, but I have no idea how to reach it.
Has anyone here actually built that kind of life? How did you find a partner who shares those values? Where do you even meet someone when the usual ways don’t work?