u/Miserable_Dare_5958

Hello folks,

I am sick from stress (headaches, upset stomach, flu) because the spouse yells, slams doors, cuts power and WIFI, creates traps and roadblocks in the house, creates loud noise during quiet hours, etc.

Can I NOT pickup her new puppy poop and NOT do her dishes, garbage, toilet cleaning, etc? I only use my private room. She uses 90% of the house. I pay 90% of the bills. Besides having a dirty home, can not doing the house work be weaponized against me? I've done it for so long, but now I am sick and have a huge work deficit because of the shenanigans at home.

I am home only for 6 hours a day, 7 days a week. Some days I might sleep in my car or at work when the noise or harassment is too much.

Thanks.

Gentlemen,

I've been seeing counselors, domestic abuse resources, church leaders, and lawyers for months now. I've officially retained a lawyer. I've been organizing evidence for months now.

Looking back at my photos with the spouse, we have 10 years of memories together. The first 4-5 years were phenomenal. I sacrificed so much for her. I moved mountains for her.

The last 3-4 months have been extremely hard. My health is deteriorating. I'm about to officially ask the court to formally ask for the harassment to stop. But I feel guilty AF. WTF is wrong with me. I should feel happy for the peace that is about to come. But I also know once divorce is served, the spouse will escalate the harassment. To the point where I may react, and I don't want to react.

How did y'all get through the guilt and push through?

Howdy gentlemen,

Do any of you live in your office or car? I have to out of necessity because of sleep deprivation and other hostilities and shenanigans at home.

I have the following at my work office

• first aid kit, coffee machine, hot water boiler, food/water, CO detector
• foldable mattress, pillow, blankets, all hygiene stuff
• passport, SSN, global entry, nexus, debit / credit, etc
• clothing, pajamas
• 6 - 27 Gallon storage boxes from home depot
• 9 - document boxes from home depot
• PS5 Pro, Nintendo Switch 2, personal and work laptops
• there is a shared kitchen, microwave, fridge where I store frozen pizza / burritos

In my car

• gym bag (hygiene, clothes, gym clothes, etc)
• tinted windows
• magnetic window curtains, rear and front sun shade
• food and water
• backup generators
• CO detector

For mail and deliveries

• USPS postal box 5 minute walk away
• Amazon Locker 5 minute walk away
• Sometimes delivery to office (reception won't rat on me)

For showers and exercise

• Planet Fitness 24/7 gyms

Some folks have noticed my setup at work. They didn't say anything, and I haven't heard from HR, so it's a non-issue. There are 24/7 cams that show me entering and exiting. I can see myself on the cams via the app. No one has ever said anything. My boss probably knows because he has offered his home to me.

I've built this setup from watching other folks on YouTube secretly live out of their office or cars.

I'm doing this while paying 3X - 4X of the home bills. At home, I've been collecting evidence of the spouse harassing me and will submit an anti-harassment order soon.

Thought I'd share this in case it helps other people, and in case you can offer suggestions to make my setup more efficient.

Thank you.

EDIT:

I can't stack any more boxes at the office without raising any more attention. And my car trunk and back seats are full of my stuff. So I may need to rent a small storage space soon.

Good afternoon gentlemen,

I'm preparing for a worst case scenario where I might lose access to my cell phone.

My spouse is listed as the account owner on cell/internet, but it's using my phone number, email, and credit card.

I am thinking of transferring the number before serving notice, but she may get notified.

Or i can get a new number from a different carrier and update my cell phone in all my accounts to the new number, before cutting the current number.

What's the safest or cleanest way?

Thanks.

Hello gentlemen,

How did y'all pay for your divorce lawyer(s)? I only have a few grand in my checking account. I am considering borrowing from my 401K (which allows 50% or 50K whichever is less), or a line of credit, or a loan from the bank.

My lawyer says that once a divorce has been started, and orders are in place, I won't be able to withdraw from my 401K.

I don't want my credit to go down from a loan or a line of credit. But I also understand that cashing my 401K to pay for potential lawyer fees from a contested case may get deducted from the final judgement.

What did y'all do? Thanks.