Am I overreacting, MIL invited herself for dinner…
UPDATE: Sent my husband this post and he’s insisting we cancel/reschedule. I told him I didn’t want to start drama and make his family feel unwelcome. They haven’t seen our son since they got back from down south a few weeks ago. He reassured me that it was his mother that he’d rather have a relaxing night and with my unexpected doctors appointment tomorrow he felt like it was too much. Said he’d be clear there is time for her to visit with our son this weekend and they are welcome but we are not hosting dinner tomorrow. I feel guilty but that’s just my own issues I think. I don’t want to let anyone down or cause conflict.
My MIL asked if we could do dinner this week. Fine. We found a day and time that worked. Then afterward she says, “Let me know what I can bring.”
And I just sat there thinking… wait, I’m hosting too? Because in my mind, “let’s do dinner this week” sounded mutual, not “you cook and host everyone.” I made it work, planned a menu, scheduled time to tidy before her arrival (around a surprise drs appointment for gestational diabetes), admittedly it was out of spite and to avoid conflict.
I’m 8 months pregnant. We have a 17-month-old. I work part time 2–3 days a week, and my husband is the only full-time income right now. Money is tight. We still manage our own bills and never ask family for help.
Meanwhile, my MIL heavily subsidizes her adult daughter’s life. Financial help, constant support, etc. Again, her choice. But it’s hard not to notice the contrast when we’re over here barely keeping all the plates spinning and nobody ever says, “Hey, can I bring dinner over?” or “Can I help you guys out?”
Instead I somehow ended up planning and hosting a dinner that wasn’t my idea while very pregnant while I want to do is nest and prepare for our next babe.
What irritates me most is the assumption. Like because I’m the wife/mom, I automatically become the social coordinator, grocery shopper, cook, and hostess. And if I’m honest, I feel taken for granted. She would never act like this with her daughter whose mortgage she is paying.
Am I overreacting for being really irritated by this?