Dead bedroom in marriage
Married woman here just ranting.
After years together, things slowed down in the bedroom, which I know happens. But after my husband went through cancer treatment, our sex life basically went to zero. I’m in my late 30s, he’s in his 50s, and sometimes I genuinely wonder… is this just it for the rest of my life? Celibacy?
And before people say “sex isn’t everything” — I know that. Also sex is not just penetrative. Intimacy, affection, effort, feeling desired… all of that matters too. That’s the part that hurts the most. I feel unwanted, unseen, and honestly like he just doesn’t care about my needs at all.
What makes it harder is that he’s also extremely insecure, so any attempt to talk about this turns into defensiveness, shutdowns, or tension. After a while you stop bringing it up because you feel guilty complaining when someone survived cancer… but you’re still a human being with emotional and physical needs.
I don’t even know what I’m asking here. Maybe I just needed to say it somewhere people might understand.