After so many years what’s wrong with me..
I (F36) have struggled with connecting to anyone my whole life. As I child I grew up without a dad, fat, ugly I know it’s one of the reasons I struggle to this day. When I was young I had maybe two friends because of depression I began to hurt myself. In my early 20s I was an alcoholic and stopped drinking at 26. I haven’t had friends in at least 12 years. When I was 26 I was in a relationship with a m##h addict for four years he made my life a living hell to the point of you still ask me a question I will pause and think I’m in trouble. I stayed single for three years after that. I met someone else who love bombed me and I really thought he wanted marriage. We were together from when I was 34 till last January. He screwed me over and stole $17,000 and is still trying to get more from me(that’s a whole other story) After him I met a really nice man I thought was it. He is a hard worker, has kids of his own, our kids got along, but he was also single for a long time before me. He didn’t want to have sex right away which made me like him even more. We dated a month and a half and he just dumped me. I really wonder what’s wrong with me. Why won’t anyone stay? Why don’t I deserve to be treated right? I’m so tired of looking at my phone and nothing. And that’s how I feel I am. I had a 12 year old son. He’s the only reason I keep going…I just want to know how I can fix myself…I’m almost 40, I have no friends, I can’t take to family, and every man I love always chooses to leave.