u/MoggyDaddy

We have two cats, which we adore, love, and protect. The issue is that we have family and friends who are dog people, and either just show up to family events with their dog, or plan on staying with us in their travels- with their dog! Our cats are not dog acclimated, and are scared to death with a strange animal/dog.

They assume we have 'just cats' and can lock them up or have the cats just deal with it. Because their dog is their baby. 'The dog would never hurt them...'. Some have outright said they don't like cats anyway, as if that is going to convince me to let them visit/stay with us without stress.

I tell them, exactly (having learned that less words is more) "our cats are not dog compatible, and this is their home". They don't get it, they resent it, and nothing I can do or say seems to help. My wife is on the same page, but hates to say 'no'.

I have no hesitancy saying no, they are our cats and this is their home. Last time one of our sons who knows better just showed up with his dog, and it was tense (for me mostly) but we had a BBQ on the deck and the dog stayed outside.

How can I set firm boundaries without being the jerk in all this, and creating drama? Am I the only cat owner defending their cat's space to the offense of dog owners??? I'm starting to dread the holidays and having this disagreement or putting our cats through hell.

What a great sub, have to share this story because my family still jokes about it...

I was attending and giving a talk at a scientific conference in Bar Harbor ME, and the attendees were staying at an Inn in town. I was up late the night before (as you do when at a conference), but always an early riser. Kind of tired, hit the restaurant where the breakfast is, but too early. The staff was making coffee and setting up, so I started chatting and started to help them out a bit. I'm from Vermont, but lived in Maine for a few years, so being down to earth and having an accent came right to the front. Got stuff going, got my coffee, and just made small talk about a late night etc etc and they were great fun, but looked at my coffee strangely.

Breakfast comes out, and I say great meeting you guys, I'm going to grab a bite and go and grab a plate. Gets real quiet, and the gal in charge says, you know, we aren't supposed to eat on the job, and the set up is for guests... I look at my coffee, and she says it looked like I needed it, but now I have to clock in.

Turns out they thought I was the new guy that was supposed to start that day for first shift, and with my making time and joking with them they assumed I was that, or local, or both. We had a good laugh when it all straightened out, and she offered me a job because the new guy was a no show.

Said they were a great bunch, and would be fun to work with, but sadly no, I was a scientist and just in town for the conference. I did offer to help with coffee set up for the week (self serving) and got a good laugh. She said that I was about to be docked for the coffee but as my first day, they would read me up on the rules later...

Sometimes just being helpful will do that, like knowing something at the hardware store...