I got a hall pass
TL;DR below.
Not sure if this is the right sub. But I wanted to ask for some advice. This is an alt account of mine.
My wife has had a string of health problems, which has left her severely depressed. For a while, she stopped taking care of herself and just had a defeated attitude. She went from a fun and sexy person to someone who was more of a friend and roommate than partner. As a husband, I was determined to help. Even though her motivation was low, I could sense that she wasn’t a bad person taking advantage of me. She knew and wanted to be better, but didn’t have the tools. If she were just a spoiled person who “marriage-trapped” me, I’d have left a while ago.
Thankfully, after lots of support, she’s getting better and pulling herself out of her rut. I am happy for her. She is a stay at home housewife so she went from sleeping in until the afternoons, ordering takeout, and not doing much to now having a routine. Her family have praised me for sticking by her side. And I was glad to. She’s my friend.
Anyway, we were talking about the “bad times” and my wife asked if I ever thought of stepping outside of our marriage. I told her I did from time to time. My sex drive is high - I could have sex multiple times a day, every day. In short, she explained that even though she feels better, her libido was still super low. And she’s not sure if it will ever improve. She assured me that she loved me and found me very attractive. And that she remembers when we had matching high libidos. She said she couldn’t imagine having that high sex drive and me not meeting her needs.
So, in short, she said she wouldn’t mind if I found other partners. We talked ground rules: Use protection. And I cannot “embarrass us” - basically don’t flaunt any affairs and to be discreet. We don’t want it to be open knowledge to family and friends. And to not be disrespectful and brag in front of her, which I would never do. I used the term “outlet” and that’s what she thinks this would be. She has no interest in swinging or an open marriage. This would be just for me. And I explained that I’d communicate and that the situation may change whenever. Like, if she changes her mind.
I’m excited for the future. But, I’ve got no idea where to begin. It’s not like you can go flirt with women in bars and clubs, and then say “I’m married but my wife’s cool with it”, right? This is totally uncharted territory for me.
TL;DR: Wife gave me hall pass due to her health issues leading to LL. I just have to be discreet and respectful. Don’t know where to begin or how to meet people.