In mei is de tuin altijd zo mooi. De tulpen op hun laatste benen en de rozen nog niet begonnen, en in dat gat zijn het vooral de akeleien die zorgen dat de tuin er fleurig bij staat.
I just need to vent. We live with 3 people in this house and 2 of them have severe food allergies (one is me). No.3 offered to cook dinner a week ago because they craved a certain dish.
Turns out they did not cook from scratch. I only ever cook from scratch because that's the only way to make sure there's absolutely zero allergens in my food. They used a sauce/curry from a certain brand and did not check the ingredients on the back.
I had no idea, enjoyed my meal, even had a second serving, and got a stomach ache in the night, didn't sleep until 4.30 and had diarrhea the next morning. I thought maybe the chicken hadn't been cooked properly. My gut still hurt all day long, in that annoying way where painkillers don't work.
Before bed that night I threw something in the paper bin and saw the box in which the sauce had been, coincidentally with the backside up. There it was, in bold capitals: MILK. I was livid. It was so obvious among the ingredients, but apparently they hadn't even checked. Living with 2 severely allergic people and not even a glance at the ingredient list.
So I confronted them the next morning and the answer was "we've eaten that brand before" so I had to explain that "brand" is no guarantee that "ingredient" isn't in it. And that "brand" has several sauces, all with different ingredients. And that when cooking for allergic family members, ingredients should _always_ be checked. Even if you've made it before, even if you've used this very product before. Because recipes may change, production lines may change.
I confronted them with the reality of having a food allergy: you always, always check every single ingredient before anything goes into your mouth. Yes, that's a lot of work. Yes, that's annoying. But you know what's more annoying? Having pain in your stomach still a week later, your gut still inflamed a week later. Having to eat low fodmap food all week in an attempt to calm the gut down.
Or worse, had it been the ingredient person 2 is allergic to: epipen and a trip to the hospital. I just can't understand how a family member can be so inconsiderate. It's not just annoying, it's potentially dangerous.
Thanks for reading
(And no they never apologised.)
Edit: it's my husband we're talking about, I didn't want to be too specific. Person 2 is my child.
I had a BSH before, from 1993 to 2009. She was a very good cat. In 2011 I called the same breeder and asked if she was still breeding BSHs. She did and had three kittens available at the time, all equally cute, but one stood out. Two months later we welcomed this 15 weeks old girl home. She's remotely related to my first BSH! She grew into a 12 lbs beast that was often mistaken for a male (now down to 9 lbs/4.5 kilos). She's a grumpy girl who only loves one human and that's me ❤️. She's still in reasonable health especially given her age. Arthritis has slowed her down significantly (imagine a lazy BSH but slower even). She's by far the best cat I've ever had. I hope she sticks around for a while longer. Every day she's still with me is a blessing ❤️
I thought you guys might like it. 7 million tulips, 800 varieties. I took 300 pics in one afternoon. These are my favourites.
I wasn't sure which sub to post this, but I think this is the best one since you guys probably understand best.
I wanted to know how to handle this. My neighbor is "too nice". There is a path next to my garden where people walk their dogs. When I am pottering about in the garden (my main form of "exercise"), most passers-by say nothing or just a quick "hello," but this specific neighbour always comes to my fence for a chat when she's walking her dog.
As you'll all understand even a 5-minute chat is often too much: standing still (POTS), talking while I don't want to, being interrupted while I was carefully pacing; it all drains my energy.
My garden is the place where I relax and don't want to have to worry about anything. It's is the one place where I don't need to be "socially switched on", so to speak. Letting my mind wander and just do the light activities of pulling a weed here and there with the birds singing in the trees around me - that's therapeutic, it helps me manage my cfsme. Is it too much to ask for some privacy in my own garden?
She is someone who likes to chat with everyone and I understand this is good for the social cohesion in our neighbourhood but I just feel uncomfortable with it. A quick "hello" and then going back to what I was doing just doesn't work to get rid of her. She always wants to know more, talk for a bit, hear how we are doing, and I have no desire to discuss that with her; she is a neighbour, not a friend, and I certainly don't want to tell her of all people I have a chronic illness. (She's the type that comes with all kinds of unsolicited advice and treatments that are proven to not work.)
The problem is that she's a genuinely kind person, just not my kind of person. She has tried to invite me for coffee so many times over the past years and declining has become more and more tiresome, but she keeps trying. The stress of seeing her approaching is draining, even if I manage to get away in time.
I also don't want to be too blunt, because she does live around the corner, and I don't want to be the cause of a bad atmosphere among neighbours.
A while ago, I wrote in a comment that I’d write a thing or two about my David Austin roses, and many of you were interested. I’m sorry it took so long, but I believe I’m still in time for the bare-root season.
Roses are my favourite flowers so I grow a lot of them in my garden, and most of them are David Austin roses. They’re my favourites for multiple reasons; looks, scent & repeated flowering the main ones. Not all of them are equally healthy though, and some are outright drama queens and a pain to grow.
So in this post I’ll share a list of my favourites. All photos are from my own garden.
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Wollerton Old Hall
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The colour is a pale apricot, the flowers are cup-shaped and abundant. Abundance is the keyword for this rose anyway, because it grows vigorously and produces flowers from late May/early June until late autumn (it once still had flowers in December during a very mild winter), almost continuously. They also smell amazing. Originally a climber, I grow mine on an obelisk, which also works very well – just make sure to use a large enough obelisk (2 m tall) and plant it in the back of the border (which I didn’t - even a seasoned gardener makes mistakes sometimes). Deadheading and a gentle mid-season prune for almost eternal flowering.
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Desdemona
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David Austin advertises it as white but it’s actually a really tender pink, very pretty. It has a strong scent and keeps flowering almost as enthusiastically as the aforementioned Wollerton. The shrub will grow about 1 meter tall and wide, so it’s also suitable for smaller gardens. Apart from regular deadheading and the annual prune in March it’s a rather low-maintenance rose that’ll look great in any garden.
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The Lark Ascending
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I chose this one for the name as well. It’s a yellow-apricot coloured rose with semi-double flowers, which makes them interesting for the bees as well. The colour is just amazing, especially when they catch the sun, it’s as if they’re lit from within. For beauty, this has to be one of my absolute favourites. It’s a large shrub, at least 1,5 m high, so this one needs a bit more room. It also has more thorns than most other roses so gloves are a must when pruning. Repeat flowering, light scent, and overall just an amazing rose that doesn’t look like any other rose I know.
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A Shropshire Lad
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In terms of flower shape this has to be the most beautiful rose in my garden. They’re so photogenic. I also love the dark foliage on this one. Unfortunately, I just learned that David Austin has for some reason discontinued this rose. I have never had any problems with it. On the contrary, I was always really pleased that it grows so well even in partial shade. It’s a short climber and not a fast grower, so it’ll reach 3 meters eventually. Lovely fruity scent and repeated flowering.
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The Pilgrim
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Also a climber, but I bought mine as a standard tree rose which also works really well. I was never a fan of yellow flowers until I bought this one on a whim and I’ve developed a soft spot for yellow roses since. It’s just as vigorous as Wollerton Old Hall, endless flowers which last for days, a lovely fruity scent. I’m just in love with this rose, it’s so worth its money. Only small downside is that after its first flower explosion in June, it takes a 6-week break before it starts all over again. Another thing I like about this rose is that the shape of the flowers changes so much from bud to full bloom, it's almost as if it's a different variety.
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Tottering-by-gently
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Another one that caught my attention because of the name. It has single yellow flowers with 5 petals each, and while this may not as impressive as the other ones, they attract a lot of bees and hover flies because they’re so accessible, which is a lovely sight if you grow it close to the terrace (I grew it in a pot initially, moved it to the border last November). The colour is a soft, buttery yellow, and it’s just a rose that sparks joy, it looks so simple and happy.
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Gentle Hermione
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Large, pale pink flowers on a rather tall shrub (>1m). They smell amazing and they look so soft. Never had any problems with this rose, it just flowers as long as I keep deadheading. I planted this one along a well-trodden path so that I can smell it every time I pass by.
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Princess Alexandra of Kent
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This rose is a statement. Enormous hot pink flowers on a rather small shrub. Amazing smell. Repeated flowering as long as I keep deadheading. It loves full sun. It’s always a special moment when her flowers appear, they’re just so huge. Not as many flowers as Wollerton and Pilgrim, but their size and colour make up for that.
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Golden Celebration
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This rose looks great against a hamstone wall or something of a similar hue (top left, not my house). It has this amazing deep golden yellow colour, so it also works against a dark background, like a cherry laurel/yew hedge. The flowers are cup-shaped and the same size as Alexandra, and they smell amazing. Only small downside is that raindrops cause red freckles on the petals, but this isn’t really ugly. Looks amazing with Nepeta as companion plant.
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Eustacia Vye
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A rather new variety from the David Austin nurseries, lovely pink flowers with apricot centre. Strong smell. Mine is still small but it should grow to 1.25 m when mature. It’s healthy, loves a sunny spot and flowers repeatedly when deadheaded. The flowers themselves are just incredibly pretty.
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Jude the Obscure
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A wonderful rose, warm pale apricot, almost like Wollerton but more saturated, although they turn cream when the flowers mature. They are very large and round, and have an intense, unforgettable scent. It’s a shrub that grows over 1m tall and the foliage is pretty and shiny. Unfortunately in the light of climate change David Austin Roses has decided to retire a lot of popular varieties, which includes this beauty.
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Lady of Shalott
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Orange with yellow/peach hue, large chalice-shaped flowers. It’s the darker/bronze foliage which makes this one so pretty. I’m not really a fan of orange flowers but this one certainly deserves a mention in the list.
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Queen of Sweden
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This one competes for “most beautiful” with Shropshire Lad. The flowers are soft pink and a bit smaller than average, but their shape is just perfect. The colour changes from apricot-pink when they’ve just opened, to pale pink when the flowers mature.
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Geoff Hamilton
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Named after the previous presenter of Gardener’s World. The flowers are pink and round, changing into a chalice shape, and the foliage is dark, almost red. Unfortunately this rose is retired, which is a shame because it’s really pretty and rather undemanding (in rose terms). Just a regular deadheading session and the annual prune in March.
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Wildeve
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This is another pink rose and it has such pretty flowers. They’re large and have an apricot hue, and they have a light smell. They do flower more than once, but it needs quite some time to form new flowers after the first flush. However when everything in the garden starts dying down in late summer/early autumn, Wildeve never fails to surprise me with an encore. It’s a healthy, rather lanky shrub (needs some support) that grows over 1m tall.
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Vanessa Bell
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A rather new variety (2019) with tender, pale yellow flowers, very pretty cup shaped, and bee friendly as they open completely. They smell nice and the foliage is bright green. I should grow mine in a somewhat sunnier spot because the stems are a bit floppy and as a result the flowers tend to droop. Other than that, a real beauty. It grows ~1 m tall so it's also perfect for smaller gardens.
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Roses that are absolutely pretty but have a few downsides:
Munstead Wood: incredibly dark burgundy colour, almost velvet-like, and an amazing old rose scent, but not as strong as I’d like. It takes quite some TLC to keep this one healthy – I reckon this is why David Austin discontinued this variety.
Abraham Darby: Large peach coloured flowers with an overwhelming perfume, but so incredibly sensitive. Mine fell victim to black spot (infecting pretty much all my other roses as well) and never fully recovered, 2 hot & dry summers did the rest, I had to dig it up and remove it.
Claire Austin: The prettiest cupped flowers, a pale buttery white, but although it flowers repeatedly, almost continuously, the flowers only last a day, sometimes even less when it rains.
Wedgwood Rose: really pretty flowers, the individual petals are a work of art, but the flowers are too heavy and they’re all drooping (a common problem with David Austin roses).
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Non-David Austin roses that I really enjoy growing:
New Dawn – Good old new Dawn, a perfect rose for beginners, practically indestructible, doesn’t mind shade or even a north facing wall, good climber, dark foliage, lovely smell, continuous flowering
Desprez à fleur jaune – very old (1826) climbing rose which loves a warm south or west facing wall, has blushing yellow flowers, sometimes almost pink, lovely scent, repeated flowering, very abundant and vigorous.
Pomponella – loads of bauble-shaped roses growing in clusters, intense colour, repeated flowering, bit floppy but an obelisk for support solves that problem
Clodagh McGredy – the healthiest rose in my garden (that summer when they all had black spot, this one didn’t), large pale pink flowers, continuous flowering, large shrub
Katharina Zeimet – small shrub, so perfect for small gardens, intense scent, flowers in clusters, repeated flowering after deadheading
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Companion plants: for some reason almost every colour of rose works really well with purple. Nepeta, lavender, agastache, dame’s rocket etc., but please don’t feel limited to these colours. I’ve planted lady’s mantle around my Munstead Wood and it looks absolutely great.
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I'm by no means an expert, I'm just a woman who spends a lot of time in the garden, but feel free to ask any questions and I'll answer to my best knowledge.
