Need advice
I (21M) was in a 5-month relationship with a (20F) Fearful-Avoidant leaning anxious. The relationship was very deep she was extremely attached, vulnerable, and often told me she had never opened up to anyone like she did with me. She even said she believed God brought us together. We had a lot of plans together.
About 7 weeks ago, she broke an agreement we had by getting blackout drunk with friends, we spoke about it and she didn’t argue at all, she admitted that she’s wrong and said that she disappointed me and herself then we had like 2 hours speaking about everything. The next day, she initiated the conversation and she had a business meeting after that a dinner with her co workers, she kept me updated about everything (( that what she usually do )) and everything was going a bit normal, then she asked me that if she can go with the same group she was with the day before to a hot tub and i didn’t reject it. That night, after 2 hours she came back from hanging out and left me a message that she’s back home then went offline (( which is extremely odd cuz she always call me when she’s back )) she completely shut down, The next day she told me please not to text or call her and that she’s overwhelmed and need some time with herself and to think about things. Since then, she has been in strong avoidance.
She recently deactivated her Instagram few days ago, has been very quiet, and recently started hanging out again with the same friends she was with during the night that triggered her. She still has me on Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, Discord, Xbox, and still have my number and never removed our relationship status. She hasn’t blocked or removed me anywhere. However, she only seen my first message as I sent her one after 11 days of NC then another one after a week she hasn’t opened my second message and hasn’t reached out at all.
I’ve stayed in no contact and haven’t chased her.
I’m trying to understand if this is just typical Fearful-Avoidant deactivation due to guilt and shame, or if she’s slowly detaching. I also don’t know if I should keep waiting or start emotionally detaching at this point.
Has anyone experienced something similar with a Fearful-Avoidant ex? How long did the avoidance last, and did they eventually reach out? Any advice on whether I should keep waiting or start moving on?