[Update] MIL invited people we don’t know to our wedding. She won’t uninvite them because that’s ’embarrassing.’
Hi everyone. It’s been a few months and I figured I could provide a bit of an update. The biggest update is… we got married! It was such an amazing day and went just as we had planned. We’re still in awe of how perfect it was for us. We don’t regret a thing (except our DJ but that’s a story for another time).
In regards to dealing with MIL and her guest list requests, the day after my initial post, my now husband sent a short text to both of his parents saying her extended family wasn’t invited and we were done having the conversation. Added in that we were disappointed with their behavior and that they caused unnecessary stress. The response was… interesting. MIL just responded saying she invited these people because we said it was okay in prior conversations (that never happened) and she has always been supportive of the wedding (that was never a concern but now it is). There were no apologies but we weren’t expecting any. She also never said she would uninvite her guests. But we can confirm they did not come to the wedding. His dad even made a comment about how selective the guest list was in his speech. Tried to make it sound like everyone there should feel special they got an invite. Such a classy guy.
Responses to common comments:
- How many people did she invite: we don’t actually know. She was vague and told people different things. The text to us made it seem like she sent an open invite to her extended family and their families. How many people that includes is a mystery.
-Hire security: this was a big consideration and I had looked into it. Cost wise, we just couldn’t do it. Luckily we have some large scary friends and family that could act as security in any given situation. Since we had no issues, there was no need for them. We’re very happy it all worked out in the end.
-Just say no and have the wedding you want: that was always going to happen and it did. The amount of things people wanted from us and our wedding was crazy. “No” was commonly heard from us. We had control over every single detail. In this instance, I was more concerned with people I didn’t know showing up to the wedding because it was something we couldn’t control. Especially since we had no way of getting in contact with them nor did we know how many people she invited. That’s why I asked for advice.
Thank you to everyone who provided meaningful advice. Life has been really peaceful since the wedding and we are loving it. For those currently planning a wedding, take your time, enjoy the good moments, and do it your way. If you’re worried about something going wrong, my mantra was “fuck it.” Let me tell you, it helped a lot.