u/Moon_Light032205

Just something I’ve observed about UPCI preachers throughout my life. They talk so big and loud but if you really listen, their language is very insecure. You believe in something so strongly you’ve dedicated your entire life to it but all throughout your sermon you’re dropping phrases like, “Is this making sense? Am I boring you today? Can I get an amen? Is this resonating with anyone? Am I making sense? Are you hearing me? Well 3 people heard that. Well 3 people agree with me” (while the entire congregation is applauding.) I understand that they’re only human but dang brother, do you believe what you’re saying or not? Has anyone else experienced this? Is it guilt tripping? Just the fact that they’re still human showing?

They had an evangelist preaching today. I don’t remember his name but he told a story that broke my heart. He said “It’s been 7 years since my wife died in my arms. I went through depression, I went through not wanting to be here anymore, grief, etc.” What does he say God told him throughout this process? “You trusted everyone but me. You trusted hospice, hospitals, nurses, medicine, everyone but me.” Of course the congregation applauds this. I ended up leaving early. I’ve thought about it all day. I can’t get over how sad that is. The God of the universe, your creator, your comfort, your protector, your prince of peace…is guilt tripping you after your wife dies in your arms because you didn’t trust him enough? It was a moment where the blinders of frustration and resentment I have towards being raised this way fell off and I realized that some of these people are just as sad and scared as I was. That’s all it is. And they can’t even call those emotions what they are. Fear, indoctrination, a mental prison most of them will never escape. I’m sad for them in a way they’ll never understand.