u/Mother-Bottle-9341

​

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on reddit. Today final results are out and congratulations 🎉👏 to everyone who have cleared.

DISCLAIMER, sorry for the long post. I'll just use this as to release my burden from my heart.

Sebi grade A exam has been my priority for the past 5 years. In 2022 and 2023 I couldn't clear prelims,I was new to govt exams and was scared of maths so I always prioritised other 3 sections in paper 1 and only focussed my preparation for paper 2. And I cleared paper 2 cut off easily and couldn't clear paper 1 and over all cut off by close margins like 3/4 marks.

Then in 2023 I joined the corporate and got comfortable with the job even though I was not happy with the job due to various office politics.I started loving being financially independent. I cried and used to have panic attacks regularly due to my job because I was not interested and passionate about the corporate and did not like anything apart from money it gave me. It was not much money but I could live comfortably as I dont have any responsibilities. In all these, I couldn't manage time to prepare for any exam. I used to try but as mine was night shift my sleep cycle and health got messed up. I used to constantly ask for day shift to my manager but they used to stall and ask me for a few months of patience for any new day shift opportunity. I adjusted and revoked my resignation 2 times.

And then in 2024 notification came and my hope once again for sebi. Fortunately the exam got postponed from April to June. Despite all the office stress I studied a lot in the cab and cafeteria. I used to come home at 4 am and I used to study at least for one hour and sleep less hours then wake up and study for 3 months i did this. And it helped me for paper 2 but it's my fault again, I made the same mistake I focused thoroughly and studied the 6 subjects of paper 2 and ignored maths. But there is no end to my bad luck I cleared both paper 1 and 2 and overall cut off I couldn't. I got 78. I was shattered and these all happened between the worst office politics I have been subjected to.

I have been depressed since then, I knew I have the potential to clear the exam and I thought my job was my biggest hurdle. Finally in June 2025 I took the biggest risk of my life I resigned and prepared for PFRDA I cleared prelims and failed mains cut off by 4 marks. I started regretting my decision of resignation. Then, sebi notification came and I was very happy. I thought now no job I can fully focus and try hard for this exam and this time I already started studying for maths for rbi exam though I am not that good but I improved a bit. And I gave my everything and cleared phase 1 in fact I knew as soon as exam was done I would clear it. And we had 40 days for phase 2, but my mind became my enemy i wasted 10 days due to regret of resignation as my savings have been reduced and no money and January was a month where I would get bonus every year and now being unemployed made me anxious and I was constantly overthinking about my job like why did I resign and I was blaming myself. Then after wasting 10 days, I started my preparation for phase 2 and studied studied studied and only studied for at least 10 hours a day. In all these my family was very supportive and they were as serious as I was for my exam, they didn't let me do a single house work and were constantly motivating me.

And then came Feb 21, I was not that confident as I felt how much ever I studied nothing stayed in my mind nd I couldn't remember anything. I am basically a very pessimist person. Then the exam paper 1 went well I couldn't complete 2 questions of reading comprehension. I got sad but I didn't carry my feelings and collected my thoughts and stayed alert for paper 2 and as soon as the exam started as I read the questions one by one I understood that toughness level is extremely high i have to answer it strategically and I didn't panic or give up. I attempted 77, I couldn't't understand many questions I went blank and still I didn't give up. I tried my best to do how much ever I can. I knew passing this would be a miracle only because there was no way we could get the answers and I can assess my score so I just was confused after the exam. I was not sad or anything. I did not understand what to expect will i pass or not. For a week atleast I didn't do anything. Then I started having tiny hope that maybe I can clear it because I didn't unnecessarily take risk for the questions I didn't know but ofcourse I failed. It was my first Mains of Sebi which i consider as my top 1 exam in my life. I didn't cry after the results maybe deep down I knew I would fail. I didn't let any emotion take over me after phase 2 result. I ignored everything.

But today as soon as the result came i started having panic attacks and I have been constantly crying I tried to distract myself a lot to watch Netflix or YouTube bt even though the videos were playing my tears wouldn't stop. I am unable to distract myself. I am regretting everything i should have put more effort , why did i waste my 10 days overthinking abt the past. The risk I took didn't became fruitful now i have gap year in my resume and no money. If only I studied properly i would've done something atleast. All the ifs and buts are killing me.

I want to just restart my preparation again as I am very much interested only fro this exam and I find all the subjects intersting and I am passionate abt this a lot. But my age is 29 and it'll take 2 years fr new notification. There is constant marriage pressure on my head. I need a job asap and with marriage I feel I will not have that much freedom to write the exam or anything. I feel my life is wasted. I want to just kill myself. But deep inside I feel I still can clear this exam and my family are again being very supportive they are saying it's ok if I am confident then I should restart my preparation and next time definitely I will be able to clear.

Please advise should I continue my SSC CGL preparation or go for corporate and prepare for sebi along with job. The next notification may be in 2028 as I am not from UR so I can still write the exam so what should I do.

Please ignore if there are any typos or errors. There ends my rant.

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on reddit. Today final results are out and congratulations 🎉👏 to everyone who have cleared.

DISCLAIMER, sorry for the long post. I'll just use this as to release my burden from my heart.

Sebi grade A exam has been my priority for the past 5 years. In 2022 and 2023 I couldn't clear prelims,I was new to govt exams and was scared of maths so I always prioritised other 3 sections in paper 1 and only focussed my preparation for paper 2. And I cleared paper 2 cut off easily and couldn't clear paper 1 and over all cut off by close margins like 3/4 marks.

Then in 2023 I joined the corporate and got comfortable with the job even though I was not happy with the job due to various office politics.I started loving being financially independent. I cried and used to have panic attacks regularly due to my job because I was not interested and passionate about the corporate and did not like anything apart from money it gave me. It was not much money but I could live comfortably as I dont have any responsibilities. In all these, I couldn't manage time to prepare for any exam. I used to try but as mine was night shift my sleep cycle and health got messed up. I used to constantly ask for day shift to my manager but they used to stall and ask me for a few months of patience for any new day shift opportunity. I adjusted and revoked my resignation 2 times.

And then in 2024 notification came and my hope once again for sebi. Fortunately the exam got postponed from April to June. Despite all the office stress I studied a lot in the cab and cafeteria. I used to come home at 4 am and I used to study at least for one hour and sleep less hours then wake up and study for 3 months i did this. And it helped me for paper 2 but it's my fault again, I made the same mistake I focused thoroughly and studied the 6 subjects of paper 2 and ignored maths. But there is no end to my bad luck I cleared both paper 1 and 2 and overall cut off I couldn't. I got 78. I was shattered and these all happened between the worst office politics I have been subjected to.

I have been depressed since then, I knew I have the potential to clear the exam and I thought my job was my biggest hurdle. Finally in June 2025 I took the biggest risk of my life I resigned and prepared for PFRDA I cleared prelims and failed mains cut off by 4 marks. I started regretting my decision of resignation. Then, sebi notification came and I was very happy. I thought now no job I can fully focus and try hard for this exam and this time I already started studying for maths for rbi exam though I am not that good but I improved a bit. And I gave my everything and cleared phase 1 in fact I knew as soon as exam was done I would clear it. And we had 40 days for phase 2, but my mind became my enemy i wasted 10 days due to regret of resignation as my savings have been reduced and no money and January was a month where I would get bonus every year and now being unemployed made me anxious and I was constantly overthinking about my job like why did I resign and I was blaming myself. Then after wasting 10 days, I started my preparation for phase 2 and studied studied studied and only studied for at least 10 hours a day. In all these my family was very supportive and they were as serious as I was for my exam, they didn't let me do a single house work and were constantly motivating me.

And then came Feb 21, I was not that confident as I felt how much ever I studied nothing stayed in my mind nd I couldn't remember anything. I am basically a very pessimist person. Then the exam paper 1 went well I couldn't complete 2 questions of reading comprehension. I got sad but I didn't carry my feelings and collected my thoughts and stayed alert for paper 2 and as soon as the exam started as I read the questions one by one I understood that toughness level is extremely high i have to answer it strategically and I didn't panic or give up. I attempted 77, I couldn't't understand many questions I went blank and still I didn't give up. I tried my best to do how much ever I can. I knew passing this would be a miracle only because there was no way we could get the answers and I can assess my score so I just was confused after the exam. I was not sad or anything. I did not understand what to expect will i pass or not. For a week atleast I didn't do anything. Then I started having tiny hope that maybe I can clear it because I didn't unnecessarily take risk for the questions I didn't know but ofcourse I failed. It was my first Mains of Sebi which i consider as my top 1 exam in my life. I didn't cry after the results maybe deep down I knew I would fail. I didn't let any emotion take over me after phase 2 result. I ignored everything.

But today as soon as the result came i started having panic attacks and I have been constantly crying I tried to distract myself a lot to watch Netflix or YouTube bt even though the videos were playing my tears wouldn't stop. I am unable to distract myself. I am regretting everything i should have put more effort , why did i waste my 10 days overthinking abt the past. The risk I took didn't became fruitful now i have gap year in my resume and no money. If only I studied properly i would've done something atleast. All the ifs and buts are killing me.

I want to just restart my preparation again as I am very much interested only fro this exam and I find all the subjects intersting and I am passionate abt this a lot. But my age is 29 and it'll take 2 years fr new notification. There is constant marriage pressure on my head. I need a job asap and with marriage I feel I will not have that much freedom to write the exam or anything. I feel my life is wasted. I want to just kill myself. But deep inside I feel I still can clear this exam and my family are again being very supportive they are saying it's ok if I am confident then I should restart my preparation and next time definitely I will be able to clear.

Please advise should I continue my SSC CGL preparation or go for corporate and prepare for sebi along with job. The next notification may be in 2028 as I am not from UR so I can still write the exam so what should I do.

Please ignore if there are any typos or errors. There ends my rant.