i just cut her off, and i feel terrible
Me (18f) and my ex-best friend (18mtf) had been friends for nearly 3 years now. About a week ago after our last day of high school, I finally got the balls to cut her off after the rockiest few months of my life. Nearly all of my problems around this time have revolved around her.
Our relationship started off strong, where we bonded a lot over little things and i was the first person who she came out to as trans. i feel partially to blame for how things ended up; i naturally gravitate towards people who rely on me without meaning to, and on top of that, I'm aro/ace. She got a crush on me extremely fast, but naturally i couldnt reciprocate, so we just stayed friends. We got even closer past this point, but the relationship got worse. Eventually she started getting jealous of anybody id talk to who wasnt her, she stopped wanting to be around anyone else, and she made me feel like garbage for having more friends. On top of this, she would constantly beg for praise and physical affection. While i understand this made her feel comforted, it made me extremely uncomfortable... I had tons of conversations with her, trying to find compromises in our relationship, trying to make her happy, but it got to the point where it was either my happiness or hers.
I chose mine.
I cut her off kind of suddenly. She immediately started begging me to stay, i must have read the word "please" like 100 times, but i made up my mind, and i couldnt be around any longer. I let her keep sending me messages, she sends at least 1 a day, and shes started sending me desperate tiktoks too. Her messages also involve a ton of promises that she will kill herself and desperate pleas for me to come back... It's making me feel really guilty and scared.
Does anyone have any advice for what i should do? I havent been responding to her at all, but with what she keeps sending im scared of blocking her just because of what she might do.