Shlonged Shlongingly
I've decided it's about time that someone reinvents the wheels and I believe I'm the only man for the job. As we all know women breast boobily as they walk, talk and just exist in general but the Question is what do men do? They shlong shlongingly. The most important piece of advice a write can get is write what you know and of course, as a male writer I know what it's like to be extremely well endowed. With this fool proof method I will hold 50+% of the world's population captive in the palm of my hand. Soon my magnum opus will be outselling the bible. I am trusting you guys with my revolutionary idea and a little snippet of my work, NO COPYING, or I'll have to tell on you.
"As he descended the stairs his huge bulge jiggled with each passing step, mesmerising the woman who sat awaiting him. As he reached the flat ground the jiggling subdued but a remnant remained as he crossed the room and sat across from her, legs apart he took his seat. The woman could not help but be reminded of frogs eyes and elephant trunks as the man spoke, she knew his eyes were up there but she had made her choice. As the man started to speak, with each breath there was movement down there, captivating movement."
That is all you're getting from me until you buy my book. I'll see you from the top of the best-sellers list, chumps.