r/writingcirclejerk

World building is writing. When you build these worlds you have to write things out. By definition that is writing.

Anyways, who wants to hear about "The Boobeyest Empire?"

It's a well assumed fact that women read more than men.

As a remedy, I want to write the manliest book ever written. Here's the premise that I plan to give to whichever AI is on sale:

Bro McStrongface is an ex-CIA informant who is forced out of retirement when a rogue group of apache helicopters rob his gym. After beating them with his patented flying elbow, one of them says, "Martha." Knowing that Clara would want him to investigate, he follows a trail of awesome fight scenes, tits and wailing guitar music to Robo-Hitler. They arm wrestle to death in the final showdown.

I need advice on making it more manly. Please help? The last rejection letter did say I needed help.

This was posted by u/gthaarta 4 years ago and I thought it was time to bring it back out to breath.

Okay simps listen up. This is Greasy Diner Theory.

You don't know what that means? Good, you empty brained little shut. Humpty Dumpty sit on a wall and shut the fuck up.

The Greasy Diner is that mom and pop, 24 hour slophouse you drag your degenerate ass into after a weekend of regrets, bad decisions, and numbed trauma.

Its the kind of place where ain't nobody paid shit cause they're all under the table, and lord help you if you wanna fuck around cause you'll find out hunny.

Now, what did I learn from these Greasy Diners, these slophouses of the gods? Hate.

Hate, hate, hate hate hate.

You see that cook in the back? He don't give a fuck about you or your arteries; he's from fucking Nicaragua or some shit; you think he knows what a god damn calorie is? Hell no, and even if he did, fuck you get the fuck out.

But you see, *that*, that right there is what you want. Cause that hateful motherfucker is gonna serve you a god damn plate of clogging goodness. Your head is gonna get pulled out of your ass and you're gonna go back for seconds.

Thats Greasy Diner Theory; you can't deliver the best if you want to love your readers.

So here's what I say: fuck your readers. They don't get whats going on? Too bad...should've paid attention when they taught you context clues instead of fiddling around with Susie Stank Stank.

What you don't get what some line means? Sucks to suck you chode, go read from Shakespeare and figure it out.

You do this, and they'll come begging for more. Cause if theres any truth in the world, it ain't that women like assholes, betas do.

And we all need some betas.

Now can I get a fucking Baconator.

Hi everyone, I’m one of the smartest people in the world. I am challenging myself to write a character that’s more like the rest of you (not smart like me) and was hoping you all could provide me some of your mannerisms, lifestyle choices, regrets, mistakes, and etc so I can help understand the sub-genius majority I’m forced to share a planet with.

Any advice is appreciated

I've decided it's about time that someone reinvents the wheels and I believe I'm the only man for the job. As we all know women breast boobily as they walk, talk and just exist in general but the Question is what do men do? They shlong shlongingly. The most important piece of advice a write can get is write what you know and of course, as a male writer I know what it's like to be extremely well endowed. With this fool proof method I will hold 50+% of the world's population captive in the palm of my hand. Soon my magnum opus will be outselling the bible. I am trusting you guys with my revolutionary idea and a little snippet of my work, NO COPYING, or I'll have to tell on you.

"As he descended the stairs his huge bulge jiggled with each passing step, mesmerising the woman who sat awaiting him. As he reached the flat ground the jiggling subdued but a remnant remained as he crossed the room and sat across from her, legs apart he took his seat. The woman could not help but be reminded of frogs eyes and elephant trunks as the man spoke, she knew his eyes were up there but she had made her choice. As the man started to speak, with each breath there was movement down there, captivating movement."

That is all you're getting from me until you buy my book. I'll see you from the top of the best-sellers list, chumps.

…is hard.

I can’t write a story with a conflict, because people will get upset about bad things happening. I can’t write a story without a conflict, because people will get upset that the plot isn’t interesting enough. I can’t make the MC a straight cis white male, because people will complain that it’s not woke enough. Yet I can’t make the MC anything else, because people will complain it’s too woke. I can’t write genre fiction, because people will turn down their noses and say it’s not smart enough. I can’t write literary fiction or nonfiction because people will say it’s boring.

Can someone help me write a book that everyone in the universe is guaranteed to like it?

hi reddit, here’s the conundrum I’m in. I’m writing a murder mystery novel about a perky redheaded detective. But once I got to the murder scene, I realized that killing people is unethical. I know that the murderer is a bad person who has killed before, but that still doesn’t make killing someone okay.

Can someone give me tips on how to write an ethical murder? I really need my readers to know that I’m a good person.

I have one about 4'x5'3', solid oak, just sitting in the middle of the room. How do I move it, at least out of the house? I tried chopping at it, but its tough wood. Would be great for kindling, if I could cut it down.

​

He watches me as I sleep

A woman occasionally by my side

Firm melons

But he watches me

Stroking his prideful pipe

Hissing

I'm not gay

But what I wouldn't give

To have him inside of me

Burst your bloody succulence inside me

And I will be one with the sky

1. Set the minimum threshold for work you can achieve each day (such as one sentence per day.) On days when you can achieve more, do it.
2. Mark your day in a habit tracking app.
3. Try to achieve a mark every day for a year. If you miss, start over the next day and try again.
4. Repeat.

You got this.

Was using chudgpt for a quick uni project where i had to write a short story (i'm not in a literature major, just a filler course for credits) solely cuz i was running out of ideas and i had to submit the task asap. So i told this dumbass to give me a solution to a plot hole i was having, and i swear, I SWEAR this thing got hijacked by tolstoi for a split second or something.

After a 10 page long perfect streak of braindead replies like "you're not just ___, you're ___" or "right now your idea is strong, but you have to be careful with___" this thing blurted out a GENUIS solution out of the blue, only to go back to it's crayon-eating level of sapience right after.

I hear it time and time again about writing for the reader and all that good stuff, but I’m thinking about branching out to a new audience: myself.

I was thinking about skipping out on exposition entirely and starting from the inciting incident (because they’re my characters and I know everything about them), and would love to hear some more tips for writing just for the author.

Greetings m8s, I have a pretty question. I'm from Blighty and I've been thinking of writing a book, which takes place across the pond. And it makes me feel all to cock, because I will need to write about them Yanks.

Yes, that argy-bargy was years ago, but I am pretty sure they are pissed all right and It makes me feel all knackered because of it. Making a book based on real events where you portray your country as comically right and all its enemies as idiots? Bugger me, no one would ever do that!

I wont tell you the main story, because that way you will flog it yourself and half-inch my moolah, forcing me to get a band of tip top Scousers to hunt you down and bury you in the forest. The point is that it takes place in the US of A and has american characters. Do I have the right to write about them, considering the fact that I am a brexit geezer?

If yes, should my character be very worried about the effects of the Blighty colonialism? Should I very clearly specify, that I do not all right the very bad things the mates of ours have dun in the past? Should I make all antagonists git and British? I dont know what to do, m8!! I need some bloody advice, I dont want problems with flogging me book.

P.S.: Am I allowed to write about Irish Americans?