Any ideas on my next steps?
The backstory for my situation. I (22m) am a firefighter paramedic who has gone through Chemotherapy from June 2024 - Jan 2025. It was rough, and had a close call due to an allergy to a drug at the start of chemo. During the end, my symptoms after each round struck me harder and harder each time. By the time I rang the bell, I had the following symptoms:
- severe Nausea
- severe Fatigue
- mild Mouth Sores
- Vomiting
- moderate Dizziness
- moderate Tunnel Vision
- severe Dysgeusia (foul taste in mouth)
- bloated feeling
These symptoms often wouldn’t leave for 5 days post-round.
After being in remission for a year and a half now, I’ve been working on my PTSD with a therapist, and mentally I’m pretty fit once more. I no longer suffer from flash backs, nor general malaise when looking on the mirror thinking I’ll see the lump on my neck again.
Unfortunately, my body and my mind don’t share the same similarities in recovery. Whenever I see the symbol for Cytotoxicity, or see a bright red liquid in a syringe, and even when I’m given or giving IVs, the symptoms mentioned above return. Almost as if my body is preparing for another round of chemo.
My co-workers and I have been trying to fix this by usage of exposure therapy. I must say, it worked for a bit. But only with giving IVs, and receiving.
For the past week as I work more with Chemo, Palliative, and cancer patients in general, my symptoms once again have returned. I’ve had to step out on patients because of this, and it’s now getting dangerous as I cannot perform my duties anymore, and it knocks me out for up to an hour. I’ve tried for a year finding a new therapist (mine left) and trying new techniques, but I’m left to dry.
I need help, and if anyone would like to show me a path I would be more than ears! I wouldn’t mind if someone reached out privately, or publicly, so long as I can find things to help these feelings and these symptoms.