Occupied Earth: The Dog that Caught the Car Chapter 9
Another day, another night with little sleep. David had been planning, drawing up the blueprint for his humiliation of the Demonic Freaks. Many details were sketchy, several portions necessitated shoring up with more data from his pet wiki. But the foundation was firm. It was in this circumstance an excited David placed himself in front of much of his team in Jake's basement after their third arena ball practice. David missed the second one in his rush to get home the day before. Rinivella inquired about his absence, but he brushed her off with a breezy air and a report he didn’t not feel well the day before. She nodded without comment, and David was chagrined for a second. It seemed his tiredness was not as well hidden as he might have hoped yesterday. But no matter, he was here with victory, if he could compel the others to see it.
His work was cut out for him, as the general mood in the room was rather dubious. Jake, his most reliable companion, exuded an aura of quiet doubt. Tobias showed contentment, but then didn’t he always? David called Jake after his series of revelations the evening before. He’d browbeat his poor lunch companion quite mercilessly over the phone, and David knew his cooperation in corralling the other boys came at a cost. This was his one shot.
With a deep breath, he turned on his laptop. It was hooked up to the basement TV, and after a moment it showed his desktop screen at a size of over a thousand square inches. Then he started the slide show. David was a touch rueful. Who knew he’d ever be presenting this way when it came to a topic he cared about?
“I’m guessing we’ve all seen the video. The one where the Knights took on the Demonic Freaks.” A few nods, others changed their expression. Yeah, they’d seen the video. An experience that inspired the same nostalgic fondness in the crowd as memories of their last dental visit.
“To make sure we’re all on the same page, I’ve gotten some highlights to show what’s in store for us.” Then he flipped through a series of slides, all on the same theme. Short clips showing the most brutal or disgraceful taken downs, boy after boy in red padding flattened by larger crimson and black figures. It ended with the worst one: A Knight in full charge against one of the Demonic Freaks. She let him run into her stick. Using the offered momentum, she lifted him over her head and then deposited him in a heap to the side, rolled him over the grass. A technical foul resulted, but the potent demonstration remained.
“What’s the point of this, hombre?”
David turned to the source of the querulous question. Marco, it figured. David hadn’t expected him to come. He had no idea how Jake convinced him. Almost wished he’d passed the jerk over, as David knew the elitist boy would be trouble from the beginning. From previous situations, David heard Marco mix in spanish like that when he wished to condescend. Well, two could adopt that tactic.
“The point is, this is what we can expect if we go up against those freaks, compadre. Anyone disagree?” No one did, but David also noticed the mood shift towards Marco. What was the point indeed? It wasn’t like they didn’t know, so why must David pour salt in the wound? Time to shift gears.
“Well, I do.” That caught attention. Suddenly everyone stared at him, full alert.
“What kind of game you playing here?” said Marco.
“One where we win. No. One where we crush them. Humiliate them, like they humiliated the Knights.”
“Nonsense.” Marco was composed and unswayed. He looked around and said, “Our resident show boater talking smack again. This is a waste of mi tiempo. Screw this.” He began to get up, and David could see his opportunity might walk out with him.
Fighting down the urge to yell at the entitled waste of carbon, David swallowed. He was in control, not Marco. There was no way he was going to lose this chance, not now. Not to this pissant would be campus king. “Do you want to lose? You want to prove the tomatoes right, that they can push us around and we’ll take it? How long you been a juice sucker?”
Marco snorted. “Grow up, niño.” Marco was unruffled, but also hadn’t left the basement. David’s opening wasn’t closed to him yet. He turned his focus back to the crowd.
“Marco might not care about whether the reds walk all over us, but I do. I thought you all might care too.” Then he held his breath and waited. The faint hum of the overhead fan could be heard. Josh got on his feet, eyes not quite meeting David’s.
“Look, we don’t like this anymore than you. But we all saw that video. What’s your plan? Got a secret stash of alien roids? Any of those gals would make a scout for college football all hot and bothered.”
David smiled. “They’d end up disappointed. Trust me.” Josh didn’t seem hostile, but his demeanor hadn’t turned positive either. He began turning his head to random players and addressed each in turn with his gaze. “Listen, okay? It doesn’t hurt to hear me out, does it?” Shrugs from many resulted. “If you all think I’m full of it after I’m done, well, nothing I can do about that. But stay until then, alright?” Nobody left, including Marco, who scowled but remained silent.
Courage. This was his moment, however fragile. Now to get their assent before it was lost forever. “I’ve been doing a bit of reading. Checked out their rulebook. There’s interesting material in there.” David flipped through pages he’d copied word for word from the rulebook onto the slide show. No notable response from the audience. “Along with other stuff I found, it gave me ideas. Anybody remember those dumb kid movies about an animal being put on a sport team? We’re gonna be the animals.” Several raised eyebrows at that sentence. David considered it alright when he wrote it, but now he realized sleep deprivation might have eroded his judgement a tad. He pressed on. “My point is, we’re going to be able to do stuff they don’t expect. Moves that are going to slap them so hard their horns spin off.” That caught Pauls’s attention, and suddenly there was one person on his side. The guy suffered from serious anger issues, issues he took onto the field. Whispers about his home life abounded. It was to the point that former Coach Chapman could either pull him off the team or stick him in goal far away from the opposing players. David wished his first clear support could have come from Jake, or Josh, or Eli in a pinch. Hanging around the guy too long gave him a similar sense of disquiet that Tobias did. But beggar’s weren’t in a position to be picky.
“I got the feeling some of you don’t believe me.” No open disagreement. Ouch. “I got it. Here, let me show you what I found.” He flipped to the final slide, which consisted of one labeled figure. “This is a galactic wide record.” It was a time, minutes and seconds with the activity written above. For the first time his audience stirred as a unit, and not in a good way. What kind of superheroes were these reds? David grinned. Time for him to drop the other shoe, with an impact he hoped would shatter the thickest of doubts. “Here’s the other part of that record.” Click, and another number slid into view.
He let the paired stats speak for themselves. They’d get it, same as he did.
Eli piped up first. “No freaking way.”
“Yes, way.” David’s smile widened to the point it threatened to hurt. This was the tipping point. They would be his in seconds.
Josh spoke again. “My gramma could do better than that. Like, literally. Got the photos and everything!”
“No lie.” David turned back to his computer and did a few more clicks. A previous slide came into view. “Now with that in mind, let’s take another look here.” It was a page of the rulebook he’d gone over. “Can anybody here see what’s missing?”
Wait for it. Let them figure it out. May they feel the hope and triumph he’d obtained for themselves.
Tobias sounded off and said, “Ain’t no rule saying dogs can’t play basketball!” He slid perfectly into the stereotype, a grumpy umpire shooting down the mean coach outraged a bunch of plucky losers could beat his team of handsome heels. Many laughed, and David made silent thanks to Tobias for the assist. They were buying it, all that remained was getting them to sign on the dotted line.
“You got that right. Now, this is going to take some effort to pull off, and I don’t think Rinivella is exactly going to be onboard with what I got in mind.” Nods, some grim. There was no sign she was sandbagging their training, but an endorsment of a plan to annihilate her former charges? Fat chance. “That means we have to do this on our own. Extra practice after hers.” Happy faces tightened and turned their focus from pleasant imaginings to the sudden bearer of bad news.
“You think the Demonic Freaks are going to let us stomp them? They’re bigger, heavier, and more experienced than us. Don’t you understand? You’ve seen how they look at us. Anyone going to tell me they haven’t noticed how little the aliens respect us? This is our chance! Our chance to make them see us differently. We’re not cute, soft, adorable, small little cuties,” David saying the alien slang term with the same dripping sneer when one used pussy as an insult. “We’ll be the ones who kick their sorry butts and make them run crying home to their daddies. Let’s make them regret ever coming here! I don’t know about you, but I’ll practice till my legs fall off if it means a shot at that! Anybody not on board with that, go with Marco. Guzzle tomato snatch till your lips crack. Me, I know where I’m gonna be.”
“You got me all wrong.”
The sound from an unexpected direction knocked David off his beat. He saw Marco, now with a different expression on his face. “Oh?”
“I don’t like them anymore than you do.”
“That so? I seem to remember somebody inviting them to our parties.”
Marco snorted. “You think I invited those putas rojas? Bri asked me, in the way that said what would happen if I didn’t.” David pursed his lips but felt compelled to believe him. What the guy said made sense. As for an offer someone couldn’t refuse, Marco was the type to do that kind of thing himself when it suited. Game would recognize game there.
“So, they asked, and you obeyed like a good dog. Why change your mind?”
With a shrug, Marco let the insult bounce off him. “I make it a policy to not get in the way of rolling boulders.”
“And now?”
Marco looked him in the eye with the intensity of the noonday summer sun. “What you’re saying, is it all real? No crap?”
David matched his unshakeable regard. “One hundred percent.”
“Then I think we’re going to be the boulder rolling over some stuck-up pendejos. Sounds good to me.”
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Two days later, the lacrosse team was at practice, the real practice. David took a day to design some drills and plays to run, and then it was off to the races. Most of them weren’t much different from what they’d been doing before lacrosse got cancelled, but there was a need for tweaks. In addition there were a few whole new things he wanted them to do, adjustments to acknowledge the differences they’d soon face on the field. It was a few minutes after he started them off with the standard passing and running drills as a warmup, that an unexpected visitor came tromping over to him.
Her name was Rachel. The name belonged to a blonde whose hair was always in a ponytail and was probably the reincarnation of a long dead Viking warrior. She was an inch or two over six feet, a fact that seemed impossible until one met her parents. Her mother was a small and demure five nine, and her father either got bottle fed human growth hormone while in infancy or was an undercover grizzly bear gone native. When hunched over he broke six and a half feet. Rachel matched his build, with any softness being that of a well fed linebacker who found mass, whatever the source, a good way to trample opponents.
She’d shot up early in life. Fifth grade left her taller than many of the teachers. A boy named Sandler thought it a good idea to taunt her. Calling her an ogre and the production of exaggerated booming noises when she walked by provided amusement without end for him. This lasted all of one week. Without any warning, she charged him like a rhinoceros on the blacktop. David remembered how his eyes bugged out, and the speed with which Sandler took off at a sprint. In his panic he chose poorly and ran off school grounds. That meant Rachel was free to follow, no teachers to act as bodyguards. Neither of the two were in school for a week. Sandler for reasons unknown, Rachel because she got suspended. A tale which had inspired wonder, awe, and a touch of fear amongst the other ten-year-olds. Suspension was a punishment for older kids, the ones who were caught smoking or cussed out teachers. What could Rachel have done? None of the other fifth graders ever found out exactly what happened. When Rachel came back, she acted ignorant of the incident, smiling when somebody tried to ask about it. All she’d say was, “Sometimes punks get what’s coming to them.” As for Sandler, he spent the rest of the year glancing around doorways before his entrance or exit from any room. He also jumped and yelped whenever he got tapped on the shoulder, a tic the meaner students took swift advantage of. His family moved away the next year.
Now she was heading over to David with clear intent. The fresh appointed coach turned to her with care. He’d not interacted with her much and was unaware of any potential beef she might have with him. Yet it paid to be on guard around her. Casual seemed the right approach. “What’s up?”
“I heard you’re doing double practices. I want in.”
David frowned. “In?”
She looked down at him, hands on hips. “Everyone knows about the crap that head red cunt pulled with lacrosse. If you’re doing this, its cause you’re trying to punch back. I want in.”
David regarded her, teeth on edge. She often spoke in crudities, more so than the average teenager. It struck him as forced, in the same way Alexander’s act had. He tried to ignore it and said, “Why are you so interested anyway?”
Rachel wolf smiled at him. “No trying to deny it. I like that. You know I do lacrosse too, right?” David nodded. The school didn’t have a girls’ team, but there were private leagues in the area, Rachel a member for a bit longer than him in one of them. “Well, those assholes didn’t start with the Knights. They did my team first.”
David winced on reflex. He saw what happened to the Knights and couldn’t imagine how much worse a bunch of girls would have fared against the Demonic Freaks. Then he realized this was performed in view of Rachel, and how she might interpret the reaction as an insult worthy of vengeance. He looked at her and backed up an inch. It proved unnecessary, as although she displayed anger, it didn’t seem directed at him.
“Yeah, it was pitiful. Turns out they have a hard time believing guys being the stronger ones here isn’t a joke.” Her expression was worth a bushel of lemons. “Saw no problem nailing us too. Gave a friend bruised ribs, the shits.”
David acknowledged her grievances with a nod, but then spread his hands. “Sure, I get that. But I’m not in charge of who plays, that’s Rinivella.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “You think one of those is gonna say no girls allowed?”
He didn’t respond. In truth, he was unsure about the prospect. Sure, she was an absolute beast, one glance was enough to see that. Few of the guys threatened her in height, and none beat Rachel in sheer desire for a win. But David knew his teammates and was certain they would follow his instructions, including Marco. He wasn’t so sure about this acolyte of aggression.
She stepped in closer. “Look, I’ve noticed Ax hasn’t been around much lately, annoying little prick. Say you’re subbing me in for him, easy.”
David’s face turned to stone, and he stood up straighter. “His name is Alexander.”
With a wave of her hand Rachel flicked away the correction. “Whatever. Point is, you’re down a guy. She’ll have no reason to refuse.”
David shook his head. “Well, I got a reason. I don’t want you if this is how you ask.”
With narrowed eyes, Rachel said, “What is your problem? Who put sand up your vag?”
“You did. His name is Alexander.”
Puzzlement now marked her mien along with anger. “Since when? Dude drowns himself in the garbage, that’s why he’s Ax.”
“Not anymore. Said so himself. I call people by their names and expect others to do the same. Got a problem with that, Ogre?”
She threw back her shoulders and drew lips back far enough to show incisors, but David stood firm. Worst came to worst, it was her against the entire team. Of greater importance, David held the key to what she wanted. He waited, staring her down. She deflated first. Rachel tried to play it off with a wide yawn a few seconds later, but David knew he’d won.
“Fine. Little dork’s name is Alexander. Happy?”
“Not quite. If you want to play with us, I’m the coach. That means you play how I ask you to play, do the drills and everything else as I tell you to. Otherwise, I’m busy.” David turned his body to face the field. He noticed a few of his team falter, keen interest in the conversation between him and Rachel the obvious cause of their distraction. David shouted, “Hey, did I tell you to stop? Keep at it!” They slid back into rhythm, small motions of their heads in between movements a betrayal of continued curiosity.
A big, disgusted sigh rolled in from the side and behind. “Okay. You’re the coach. Anything else? Want me to lick your boots, call you Daddy?”
David turned around and said, “Shake on it.” He held out his hand. It was firmed up, in expectation of the kind of grip he felt was incoming. As predicted, she made sure to use a tight squeeze. David didn’t flinch, which seemed to satisfy her. Contract sealed, he said, “Got your gear?”
That produced a smile with a touch of smugness. “Yes.”
“Get dressed and come back. I’m about to have them switch to something else, you can wait until then.” Rachel nodded, and that was enough. David knew she’d adhere to his terms, though perhaps with a bit of boundary pushing. He’d be sure to push back each time. No problem there.
The other players didn’t have a problem with it either. In fact, a few of them seemed downright happy to have the Ogre on their side. That was good, it would make her integration into the team easier. Although David couldn’t admit it when she said it, it turned out to be true that Rinivella hardly objected to subbing in a girl. Especially one who was the closest thing they had to a pet brax to practice with. The days flew by for David, who found himself a busy boy. Between extra practice, research to come up with more strategies, and engaging in the bare minimum to take care of Melissa, homework and sleep started to get lost in the shuffle. He didn’t care. Let his grades slip from B minuses and C pluses to C minus all around. It didn’t matter, nothing but the plan mattered. His beautiful, glorious plan.