AIO? Friends’ response to my loss
AIO?
TW: pregnancy loss
I delivered my son in a stillbirth late second trimester last summer. It was extremely traumatic and devastating for me. I understand that it’s not something you can really understand unless you’ve experienced it yourself, and that it’s hard to know what to say. A lot of people said well-intentioned things that hurt (ex: “you can always try again”), but I feel like two friends said something especially hurtful. I love these two people and I know they didn’t intend to be hurtful. A year later I’m still thinking about what they said.
One friend via text immediately after I told her, after some truly kind-hearted words of condolence: “Please reach out if there is ever anything I can do. Would also love to do that girls night out soon with you guys!”
I tell you that I had to deliver my stillborn baby, I’m grieving, and you say, “let’s do a girl’s night out” ???
Another friend via text two weeks later to a group chat:
“1. Checking in on [me]!
Checking how the moves are going for [another friend] and [me]
Anyone have suggestions where to get shapewear for an upcoming wedding? “
Literally lumping “how are you doing after the most traumatic event and loss you’ve ever experienced” with asking for shapewear recs?
AIO? Do I ever bring these things up at this point? I thought I’d get over it by now but I still feel so hurt every time I think of it.