u/Mundane_Perception73

I’ve been a GP since 2020, and mostly I’ve been focused on OPD clinics and I have a corporate job for livelihood. I still really like seeing patients in my OPD clinics and I feel very fulfilled when they get better, but I know there’s a lot I won’t be able to learn unless I get into residency.

When I got my license in 2020, I did not go into residency because I saw and heard so many horror stories about toxic seniority and bullying. Even some more “benign” things that most of us wouldn’t consider as bullying like still having to go on duty even if you’re sick, or not having any sleep for 36 hours would still horrify any non med person.

I’ve also considered doing other med adjacent things like pharma, medical admin etc but I’ve felt as though my medical journey is lacking and I can treat patients better if I get a residency. Probably IM. So I’m seriously considering going back into med. Single, no kids, so going back is easier.

My question for you docs is do I really need to sacrifice my physical and mental health for the 3 years of residency? Bawal talaga mag sick leave kahit totoong may sakit ka na? Wala talagang tulog for 36 hours straight or more? Hindi pwedeng mag CR or even drink water kahit you really need to because you’re on rounds with your senior or consultant?

I won’t be slacking off naman. I told myself if I go into residency I’ll really do my best. But itong mga basic things that arguably will help me perform better (enough sleep, well hydrated, not sick), do I really need to give that up to be called a “good” resident? And if not, how do I enforce these boundaries without being labeled lazy or entitled or “not wanting this enough?”

What’s also sad is that a lot of my good friends are now fellows or consultants. Some have become chief residents or part of the training committee. When we were in med school, we would complain together about how the system was unhealthy and how it has to change. Ngayon, sila na mismo nagsasabi sa akin na bawal mag-absent, bawal mag scrub out para mag CR sa residency niya etc. And these friends of mine are good people, I never saw any trace of bullying or power tripping in them.

Ganon na ba talaga - I have to choose between residency and my own life? Is it truly impossible to have both? I get that in residency I will have to sacrifice birthdays, weddings, holidays. That I can do. But to take years off your own life? Ganon na ba talaga yun?

Thank you for your time

I’m a Buddhist, and my parents are Buddhist. Over the years though, I’ve started to notice that people my age (millennials) and younger in my country have been increasingly converting to Christianity, even though their parents and grandparents were Buddhists. It’s gotten to a point wherein the monks have said that Buddhism in my country is threatened to go into extinction possibly in the next generation.

It got me thinking why.

Part of it is the language. As children of Chinese immigrants, a lot of my peers no longer speak fluent Mandarin. Most temples however still conduct prayer sessions in Mandarin, with majority of the monks originating from Mainland China and not being able to speak a lick of English or the local language.

Another huge part of it, I feel, is the difference in the way we view death. My aunt, who was basically my mother, died last year. She was a devout Buddhist and all her end of life preparations followed traditional Chinese beliefs and prayers. A strong theme is rebirth, hopefully into the Pure Land.

Two weeks ago, my dad died. As all my other siblings were Christian, and my dad himself didn’t have a religious preference (he’d go to temples with me and also go to church with my siblings), I was outvoted and the service followed Christian practice and tradition. A major difference was this:

With my aunt, the dialogue was： 永别了. Goodbye forever. With my dad, it was: Till we meet again.

It got me thinking: the Christian view on death is a lot more comforting than the Buddhist one. Christians believe that so long as one is baptized, believes in Jesus as their Lord and savior, and truly repents from his sins, they will then be in heaven, still with the same identity and memories they had in life. And when we die, we will all be reunited in Christ. My siblings believe we will all see each other again. And that is comfort.

The Buddhist belief is different. There is absolutely no guarantee of a reunion. Karma dictates where the person will be reborn, and even if I were to be reborn in such a way that my aunt and I meet again in the next life, I will no longer be myself and she will no longer be herself. Death is the ultimate separation. And that is painful, and so, so lonely.

Maybe that’s why more and more young people are converting to Christianity?