u/Murky_Number_8945

A Cocktail of Unspoken Words

The scene in front of Mitsuki in that moment was something she couldn't quite define, or maybe she could, but she was just too chicken to admit it. Aya, her girlfriend, fast asleep and drunk on another girl's shoulder.

But... how did we even get here?

Mitsuki always believed that partners were two halves of a life, but not an exact match. More like two halves full of cracks and missing pieces made up of the things you just can't tell your partner.

Kind of weird, right?

You love someone so deeply, they're your anchor, yet you choose silence. You choose silence because it's easier, because you don't want to worry them, or because you just don't want to face your own demons. But an elephant in the room is still an elephant. A couple of house plants won't hide it.

A few months ago

Mitsuki had finally found a band that seemed ready to make it big. But she knew all too well that if you don't blend in with the rest, you get overshadowed. You become the one they want to "hide." Is it fair? Not in any world. Does it happen anyway? Yeah. But you still have to stay true to yourself. It starts with a comment under a music video pointing out how different you are; it starts with a request to cut down your solo; it starts with the slow, relentless demand to just fade into the background.

The background?

Mitsuki?

Someone who always shined on stage, someone who caught everyone's eyes, turning them into sunflowers following the sun.

You're gonna tell Aya, right, Mitsuki?

No, there's no point.

The night of the concert comes. Aya said she couldn't make it.

Too bad... right, Mitsuki? No, not really.

Why, Mitsuki? You're her rockstar, don't you know that? Too bad that on that stage, you just let go. The music numbed your mind and heart, every note hitting like a drop of liquor. Dull eyes, staring blankly, playing purely on autopilot, like your body wasn't even yours.

Too bad she was actually there.

Too bad your eyes locked.

What you and the band said to each other after the show still feels unreal. It wasn't really you, but you walked away from everything.

Everything?Music was your life. where did you put your guitar down?

You always had headphones on. where are they now?

Silence, Mitsuki, doesn't make problems go away.

Aya tried. She tried to talk to you. Asking how you're doing, asking what was wrong. But you just knew how to distract her a touch from a gentle memory, senses blurred by the physical contact you craved so much, because it was your only way not to think, not to face things, to hide even in broad daylight.

To everyone else, you're still a happy couple. Are you really, though? ...

Fine, Aya gave you time. You're gonna talk to her now, right? No, you just hoped she'd forget. She went to a concert, she wanted to go with you; you didn't let her... Mitsuki.

You say there’s no need to hide, yet you’re the first one keeping your heart under lock and key.

She started going out more at night, looking for a glass to help her forget. You doubled your shifts at work just to avoid running into her... Did you really think that would last forever?

Now she's at the bar where you work. Are you gonna keep ignoring her? I can't talk to her.

Do you still love her, Mitsuki? Yes, with everything I have.

I'm not the one you should be saying that to.

Present

Mitsuki walks over to the table. Aya's asleep now, so she won't actually have to say a word to her. What's going on between her and that other girl? You don't know. Do you really want to get involved?

"Uh, everything good here?" Her eyes dart from Narita to Aya, then to the stranger, and back to Aya.

"Maybe I should take her home?" Delusional.

"You're working. We'll get her home safe," the girl says.

Mitsuki can't argue. She backs off and takes other orders.

Maybe fifteen minutes pass. The trio is about to leave, holding Aya by her arms. She still hasn't really come to, except for a few scattered seconds.

"Hey boss, mind if I clock out early?" Smart move, honestly. The boss knows the gist of the situation and agrees without much fuss. Mitsuki changes so fast it's practically a blur. She catches up to the trio in no time, gives a quick nod to her coworkers, and turns around.

"I'm done for the day, I've got her." Narita and Shu exchange a suspicious, confused look, but whatever. They can't really say much to her. The drive home is quiet, but not completely. Aya's soft snoring and the road noise are the only soundtrack right then, while the radio stays off.

Mitsuki keeps asking herself, "What got into her?" Lying to herself, really.

Finally, they reach their destination, marked by the screech of the brakes. After turning off the engine, Mitsuki sits there for a few seconds with her hands on the wheel, thinking about everything and nothing, staring straight ahead.

Suddenly, Aya wakes up, rubbing her eyes and mumbling, "Narita? Shu? Where are you guys?" Then she leans forward from the back seat, and once again, their eyes meet. Aya's face looks exhausted, still flushed from the alcohol, her makeup ruined by that single tear that escaped right before she blacked out. Mitsuki's gaze is heavy with unspoken words, an internal battle she can't seem to win. But the ex-musician quickly looks away, staring seriously at the steering wheel.

"I... told them I'd bring you home..."

Aya shifts her gaze to what she can see of Mitsuki's profile, a veil of sadness in her eyes.

"Why?" is all she can manage to say before crashing back down onto the seat.

The sudden thud makes Mitsuki jump. Without wasting any more time, she gets out of the car, opens the passenger door, and pulls Aya close, wrapping an arm around her to carry her weight. Sure, Mitsuki wasn't incredibly strong, but she was strong enough to hold her girl. They take the elevator, filled with that usual, faint waiting-room music that isn't even enough to drown out Aya's heavy, alcohol-scented breathing. They make it to their floor without any trouble. Mitsuki puts the key in the lock of their apartment and shuts the door behind them.

She lays Aya down on the couch to grab a glass of water for herself and prep one for Aya when she wakes up. While she drinks, she can't take her eyes off the redhead, who looks so peaceful asleep. Suddenly, Aya starts tossing and turning, and Mitsuki approaches with the second glass in hand.

"Hey Aya, can you hear me? It's okay, we're... we're home." Too bad that "home" has become a suffocating place.

A moment later, Aya wakes up and tries to sit up. Mitsuki guides her, handing her the water. "Here, this'll help."

Aya takes the glass with both hands, stares at it, and then looks at Mitsuki, searching for her eyes as always. Too bad Mitsuki is avoiding them. Aya takes just a tiny sip before setting the glass down.

"Mitsuki..." she starts, maybe the alcohol is finally loosening the thoughts weighing too heavy in her chest. "...could you just tell me the truth? That's all I'm asking."

Mitsuki looks up, trying to find her words. Aya clenches her hands on her lap, where her gaze is fixed.

"Don't. Don't start, Mitsuki. Just let me speak." The words burst out, a mix of exhaustion and frustration. After catching her breath, she goes on. "I love you, Mitsuki. I really do. I... I tried to talk to you. I waited for you to open up, I didn't want you carrying all that weight alone. I tried. But I think I get it now."

Aya squeezes her hands even tighter. With a forced smile and tears streaming down her cheeks, she turns to look Mitsuki in the face.

"You don't love me anymore, do you?"

Mitsuki's eyes snap to Aya's swollen with tears, brows furrowed. It makes no sense. How could she think that? She loves her deeply. This time, Aya is the one to look away first, staring back down at her hands, gripping them so hard her nails leave crescent marks on her palms.

"You didn't want to admit it, but it hurts worse this way."

Mitsuki tries to take her hands, but Aya pulls away. She tries to cup her face, but Aya does the same, turning her head the other way.

Aya doesn't even feel the alcohol anymore; she feels completely sober. She notices an old photo of them on the nightstand the one from Prom, the biggest moment in their relationship. The tears keep flowing silently, while in her left ear, she can hear a louder crying, full of sobs.

Aya wants to turn around.

No, don't do it.

Aya wants to see her.

You said what you needed to say, now don't do anything.

Mitsuki is sitting on the floor, knees pulled to her chest. Her shoulders are shaking, her voice broken by sobs, her sleeves soaked as she tries to wipe away the tears that just keep coming.

"That's not true," sob "that's not true, Aya." The words are whispered, barely there, like an echo of a sound.

Mitsuki stands up abruptly, throwing her arms around Aya's neck in a tight hug, while the redhead keeps her head turned away.

"Aya, I love you. I love you with everything I have. I've loved you since the first time I saw you at my uncle's shop, since I realized that maybe we weren't so different after all." Between sobs, Mitsuki keeps talking, while Aya just listens, keeping her hands clenched, not hugging back. "So much happened, and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to worry you. You were so happy that I'd finally found a band."

Mitsuki holds on tighter, burying her face in the gyaru's neck, her arms locked tight against her chest.

"I never actually told you how I felt, and I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I made you think that. I never wanted to hurt you, ever, in any way. But I didn't know how to talk to you, how to face it. I... I was scared. Scared of losing you, I—"

A strange warmth settles on her head. It takes her a second to realize it is Aya's hand, gently stroking her hair.

Mitsuki looks up from her hiding place, finally meeting Aya's eyes. Neither of them runs away this time. They are looking at each other the way they hadn't in months; honestly, they hadn't truly looked at each other at all lately. Aya has a faint smile maybe it's relief, maybe a bit of compassion but she makes room for Mitsuki on the couch.

She takes another sip of water, and the two of them start talking. Really talking. The crying doesn't stop, but they aren't bitter tears anymore. Their faces are still strained, but they aren't wearing masks anymore.

They probably spend the whole night talking, finally lifting the weight they'd been carrying, as if the dawn has washed it all away with the darkness.

The sun is high by the time they fall asleep, holding hands on the couch, in positions that aren't exactly comfortable, but work.

When they finally open their eyes, what happened won't just vanish. It can't be "un-done," but it will stay with them as a lesson, a reminder of what they went through. To rebuild their relationship the same as before, but better, and so much stronger.

The story has only just begun.

&gt;! So, I'm not english, I wrote this for myself, but I hope you can enjoy it anyway, byee!<