u/MushroomGreen6672

Hi,
So as the title suggests, is protagonist age really the main distinguisher between YA and adult fiction. Like what if a book is dual POV with a teen and adult protagonist, which category would it fall under? Or then would the next distinguisher be who drives the plot more between the two ? And if the adult did happen to drive the plot more, could it still be marketed as YA if it does explore some YA themes ?

Hey, y'all,

I recently finished editing and cutting my novel and wanted to start querying for the summer. This would be my first time ever querying and my first ever novel, and I don't really have a circle of writing friends, so it's hard getting feedback anywhere, so anything is appreciated. Thank you.

Dear [Agent’s First Name],

Because you represented [insert title] and love [insert], I am excited to share LINES OF POMELLI, a dual-POV YA contemporary fantasy standalone with series potential complete at 86,000 words. This novel combines the insightful character dynamic of Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt and the morally ambiguous use of magical power in If You Could See The Sun by Ann Liang. 

Fifteen-year-old Christina Winfield has drawn her whole life. When she’s bored, anxious, or when her life is spiralling out of her control. She’s even drawn a whole mansion in her mind where she’s seen and loved by her parents. After receiving a magical talking pencil named Arty, who’s able to turn dreams into realities, she’s determined to create that perfect life she’s dreamt about so often, but can’t quite seem to fill the longing in her heart for her alcoholic mother and distant father. 

Except, there’s someone out there who believes they have the solution.

Thirty-nine-year-old Clara Harding listens to music; she lets the lyrics soothe her troubled mind. She also listens to the voice in her head, so eerily similar to her abusive, yet long-gone, mother. When the voice grows louder, fueled by a new opportunity to complete their decades-old plan — rid the world of mothers like hers — Clara must decide what limits she’s ready to cross to do what she believes is right, even if it means erasing people from the very earth.

I reside in [state], but attend school at [college], where I’m currently pursuing my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I wrote this novel because I wanted to explore what one would do with the power of creation and destruction in pursuit of not monetary gain, but non-material desires like familial connection.

Thank you for your time and consideration. 

First 300 words

Prologue

I let myself drift from the darkness below. 

From the ever-burning rolled paper and sour beer, the occasional hint of alcohol wipes and plastic gloves. From the tone-deaf ears and blind eyes. From the loneliness that forces me into my mansion — constantly twisting and shapeshifting into the life I wish was reality. 

Each hall I walk through, every wall I decorate, is built from the memories and moments I cherish in my heart. Mom still looking at me like I matter, and the times before Dad always drove away in those flashing lights and blaring sirens that left to save everyone’s life but mine. 

I take in the still quiet, absorbing the comfort I’ve been stripped of back home, before walking down the hall and past some doors. There’s a door for Mom and Dad and Mr. Barns and so many others I love, even if some won’t bat an eye about me.

I pass some paintings and drawings too; the ones I’ve received over the years, and all the moments I’ve captured to savor forever in this perfect world. 

I walk by two huge doors — Connor’s and the O’Reilly’s — and pass a small one for the friends I pretend I have, but never will, before reaching the end of the hall. There stands the littlest door and the most frequented: mine.

With a gentle turn of the knob, I’m let into my tiny dome-shaped room, settling on the carpet in front of my singular window. I pick up my sketchbook and pencil and look beyond to the changing landscape, wondering what the world will present me with today.

The world is my muse, and I, an artist, so for now, I’ll draw what I see in hopes of escaping my life, tainted with a sorrowful shade of blue.

Hey, y'all, I've updated the itinerary from my last post with y'all's suggestions. For context, we're a party of five, and we've decided to stay in a hotel in Jamaica instead of an Airbnb in New Jersey. Y'all mentioned going to see the church on Sunday but my parents decided we might just watch our home church's livestream, so there is no church listed to see in the itinerary.

I'm still unsure what to add on Monday since I wanted us to explore places in Queens, since we'll be staying there, so any recs will be appreciated. We'll first be getting our passports that morning, but the rest of the day is left for whatever.

The itinerary is tentative, so we might not hit every spot for each day. For food, we plan to just get whats in the area unless we get more recs.

Otherwise, does this new itinerary look more decent or at least entertaining?

,
Saturday, June 20th (Departure from NC)

• Train departs @ 10:13 am
• Arrival at NYC train hall @ 8:35 pm
• Hotel check-in time: anytime after 3 pm
• Take subway to Hotel

Sunday, June 21st

• Church Livestream @ 9:15 am - 10:30 am
• Upper West Side
  • American Museum of Natural History
  • Central Park Zoo
  • Central Park 
  • Times Square at Night
    • Food: Levain for cookies, absolute or liberty for bagels

Monday, June 22nd

• Passports @ 9:30 am (Commute: ~ 1 hr)
• Queens
  • Flushing - Chinese Food
  • Astoria - Greek food

Tuesday, June 23rd

• Midtown
  • Top of the Rock - to see Empire State Building
  • Rockefeller Center
  • RiseNY
  • Koreatown
  • Broadway @ 7 pm

Wednesday, June 24th

• Union Square - Farmer’s Market (Wednesdays)
• Walk thru Village - Washington Square
• SoHo
• Little Italy 
• Chinatown Neighborhood
• Brooklyn Bridge and DUMBO 
  • Walk to Borough Hall - take 4/5 train to Bowling Green
  • Leads to: Staten Island Ferry - Statue of Liberty

 
Thursday, June 25th

• The Metropolitan Museum of Art (the Met)
• Fifth Avenue
• Madame Tussauds
• New York Public Library - Bryant Park

Friday, June 26th

•  Museum of Modern Art (MoMA)
• The High Line
• Hudson Yard
• Chelsea Market
• Little Island - Park

Saturday, June 27th

• Hotel check-out time: 11 am prompt or prior
• Train departs
• Arrive home

Context: I (19F) and my family are planning to spend a week in New York from June 20 - June 27, and I was tasked with creating the itinerary. For context, we're five in total, and we decided to stay in an Airbnb in Newark, NJ, just because hotel prices in NYC were an arm and a leg. I ran the itinerary through ChatGPT, and it said I had too much on it. So I want to ask y'all, is this too ambitious, okay, or is there room for more?

EDIT: I used GoCity to help plan, and we decided to use the 6-item explorer pass

EDIT2: Ended up booking a hotel in queens (Jamaica) and theres five of us on this trip

OFFICIAL ITINERARY FOR NYC TRIP (JUNE 20 - JUNE 27)

NOTES

• Airbnb to Park Avenue Station (leads to Penn Station): 6 min walk
• Highlighted places for BigBus tours are the only places from the tour we’re disembarking to see

Saturday, June 20th (Departure)

• Train departs @ 10:13 am
• Arrival at NYC train hall @ 8:35 pm
• Airbnb check-in time: anytime after 3 pm
• Take subway to Airbnb
  • Penn Station to Park Avenue Station
• Head to grocery stores to fill Airbnb

Sunday, June 21st

• Church service @ 9:15 am
• Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) @ 1 pm (Commute from Airbnb: ~ 1 hr, 20 min)
• Rockefeller Center @ 5 pm 
  • Top of the Rock
    • See Empire State Building
• Time Square at night

Monday, June 22nd

• Embassy (to get international passport; usually takes till 3 pm) @ 9:30 am (Commute from Airbnb: ~ 1 hr, 20 min)
• Madame Tussauds New York @ 3 pm
• Broadway @ 7 pm

ALT Monday, June 22nd (For Brother and Dad)

• TBD
• Chim Chim Bakery
• Madame Tussauds New York @ 3 pm
• Anything after up to y’all

Tuesday, June 23rd

• Aquarium @ 10 am (Commute from Airbnb: 1 hr)
• American Dream Mall (remainder of day)
  • Nickelodeon Dream World

Wednesday, June 24th

• RiseNY @ 10 am (Commute from Airbnb: ~ 1 hr, 10 min)
• RiseNY to M&M World (5 min walk)
• BigBus (RedRoute) Duration: 1hr 30 min; Frequency: every 30 mins (@ 12 pm)
  • M&M's World
  • One Times Square
  • Empire State Building / KoreaTown
  • Flatiron District
  • SoHo
  • Chinatown / Little Italy
  • Brooklyn Bridge
  • Wall Street / Statue of Liberty
  • Trinity Church
  • World Trade Center
  • Chelsea / Pier 57
  • Hudson Yards
  • Circle Line Sightseeing
• Brooklyn Bridge (both ways combined: 2 hrs)
  • DUMBO
• Staten Island Ferry
  • Statue of Liberty

 
Thursday, June 25th

• Begin BigBus @ 10 am (Commute from Airbnb to HopeSculpture[stop]: ~ 1 hr, 10 min)
• BigBus (BlueRoute) Duration: 1hr 15 min; Frequency: every 60 mins 
  • Hope Sculpture
  • One Times Square
  • Rockefeller Center
  • The Metropolitan Museum of Art (@ 1 pm)
  • Central Park Zoo (for 1.5 hrs) (@ 11 am)
  • Columbus Circle
  • Carnegie Hall
• Central Park while at zoo

Friday, June 26th

• American Museum of Natural History @ 10 am (leave around 12/1230)
• Luna Park (Coney Islands) @ 2 pm

Saturday, June 27th

• Airbnb check-out time: 10 am prompt or prior
• Train departs @ 7:04 am
• Arrive home @ 5:22 pm