u/Muslim114119

Assalamualaikum . I am a young muslim (alhamdulillah) trying to get close to ALLAH SWT and gain his love, mercy and forgiveness. I am trying to stay from social media as much as I can alhamdulillah. It contains music, women with awrah exposed and what not. I stopped watching those funny memes because they have this element of music too. Alhamdulillah ALLAH SWT has shown me what pleases him and what doesn't. The thing is I feel low many times when I have repented from these things and try to improve my deen. There is this hadith which mentions people who will be under shade of ALLAH SWT (its a well known hadith) and one of them is a person who spent his youth in worshipping ALLAH SWT. So I want to be this person, Alhamdulillah, ALLAH SWT has made this hadith clear to me. Now there are times with me when I feel I don't have enough strength to increase in good deeds, like for example, say I pray sunnah regularly , but sometimes when I return from mosque, I feel lazy and skip it. Just an example, it can happen with regular adhkar too. Another thing is sometimes I feel like I just want an easy life, like completing just fard acts like 5 times salah, fasts in ramadan, give zakah when ALLAH SWT makes me eligible for it, Do hajj insha Allah, but a person who strives and struggles more than me will gain a higher rank in front of ALLAH SWT and i would be looking in regret and saying maybe I could have done more good and struggled and become more beloved to ALLAH SWT (may ALLAH SWT protect me) . You get what I am saying right? Like sheikh othman al khamees said, if you don't lower gaze, then don't say tomorrow (in afterlife) that why the person who lowered his gaze has a higher status. This dunya is attractive, deception. Yesterday I was kid, Today I am a teenager or adult ig, tomorrow I will leave this world. ALLAH SWT has made clear the path for eternal happiness. Alhamdulillah ALLAH SWT has blessed me with this thing of accepting what is halal and haram without trying to justify it or making haram things halal, and alhamdulillah I am aware of the common fitna of today, like music, free mixing etc, like I met some people who try to say these things are ok, may ALLAH SWT protect us and guide everyone to truth. So what I am saying is that tomorrow if ALLAH SWT questions me for my sins, I cannot say that I was unaware or I was ignorant. I hope you get me. I just scattered all my thoughts😭.

In short I want to ask, , how to push ourselves in doing good deeds when we feel like we have less strength and when our nafs call us to sins making us these dunya things attractive? What halal enjoyment would u suggest to a brother who has no friends (offline) or say doesn't go out much, to keep his mind refreshed? How to stay consistent on repentance and good deeds?

Jazak Allahu khair.