AITA for getting upset about onlyfans
To start this off, I’m currently living with my boyfriend, and because I’m having a high-risk pregnancy, I can’t have s*x right now. That said, I still try to meet his needs and be intimate with him in other ways.
I’m 38F and he’s 35M. We’ve been together for about 6 months, and we moved in together after finding out I was pregnant because he wanted to be involved in the baby’s daily life. Like most couples, we’ve had ups and downs, but we usually talk things out and work through things together.
The issue started in March when I found out he was using OnlyFans. When I confronted him, he first told me he had only looked at the site and hadn’t done anything else. But after digging more, I found out he actually had an account under a different email and was paying/subscribing to women’s pages.
I know some people see OnlyFans as no different than porn, and that’s fine for them. But for me, I had already made it clear that one of my boundaries was that I’m not comfortable with a partner paying for sexual content or interacting with women on platforms like OnlyFans, where private messages and custom requests can happen. To me, that feels much more personal and intimate than just watching porn.
What hurts even more is that he had previously told me he would NEVER pay for content like that. Then I found out he’d had the account since we first started dating, meaning he already knew this was a boundary for me and still planned to keep doing it behind my back.
The lying and hiding honestly hurt more than the account itself. I asked him how he would feel if I knowingly crossed one of his boundaries and hid it from him.
He agreed to delete the account, but I honestly don’t know if he actually did or if he just changed the email and kept it hidden better.
Now I’m struggling with what to do. Am I overreacting? Is this something relationships can realistically move past, or is this the kind of breach of trust that should make me reconsider staying?