Getting separated from my wife who I thought I'd love forever
Dinner is: Coconut chicken with jasmine rice, an entire bok choi a potato I cut with a crinkle cut cutter and airfried that got messed up cause I didn't set a timer to flip it.
It's me initiating. All I ever wanted from the time I was a pre-teen boy was to love and be loved. I'm autistic and didn't even know basic social skills so I had to learn everything manually, and refine by trying it out in the world.
I faced countless rejections and while I know it's nothing compared to what women face, my story is a big deal to me. I came across her in a class when we'd both failed college, and then I spent the next 19 years holding her emotionally, doing everything I could for her in every way possible. She rewarded that by forcing me into marriage and disregarding every attempt at a plan for life I ever had.
She never took on the work it takes, emotional as she faces the outside world, or taking responsibility for her actions while talking to me, and as I struggled she just demanded more and more. Anytime I asked about the things she'd promised to do, I just got stonewalling and emotional violence.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and when she still lashes out I feel like a moron for continuing to allow it or thinking she'll ever change. She will be facing the real world, this time alone. I will have peace, finally in myself. The decision I should've made at 12.
Now my therapist tells me it's because I only ever looked at what I should be doing and never checked if the other person is actually taking care of me that I've ended up here. That it could never have gone any other way and that she's sorry for it.