Six years of isolation.
So, I don't know how to really write this.
I'm stuck and I don't really know what to do. I've been fortunate to have a decent career, my own apartment, and enough money to survive on. I should be content with my situation but something just doesn't feel right. I thought having control over my own life and my own housing situation would be liberating.
I have zero social life, no relationship and no desire or motivation to seek anything out. I've thought about going out, I've made a post on my city's subreddit, talked to a couple people, but nothing has resulted from any of it. I have one very distant acquaintance who I talk to every so often, probably just to keep me somewhat connected to the outside world.
I know I'm antisocial and can't really think of what it's like to be social. I almost feel disgust at that thought. I'm not even sad. I can't remember the last time I cried or felt anything other than apathy. All I want is to feel like I'm "safe", whatever that means. I know I'm not normal, and that's concerning.
Thanks for reading, if you did.