u/Muted_Pop7582

Context: My department was eliminated about three months ago and everyone on the team was let go (there were 5 of us). Since then, my former coworker, who is also a friend of mine from college, and I have stayed close while looking for jobs. A new company had an opening and it seemed like they might take both of us, so they asked us to come in for separate interviews (and of course we compared notes afterward).

In my interview, the Principal said to me directly: "I know I'm not supposed to ask this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway; do you have kids?" I was shocked by how blatant the question was. I do have a family, and that has been used against me more than once in my previous work. He had also spent about 90 minutes interviewing me and had made the conversation comfortable and friendly, which made reacting in the moment harder.

I didn't know what the polished answer was supposed to be, because refusing to answer basically makes them feel like you answered. I usually try to keep that part of my life out of any work conversation because of past experiences. In the end, I told the truth, and at the time he seemed genuinely happy about it. He talked about his grown children, and even framed it as something positive for me as a potential hire.

Then about a month later, he used that same information against me in the hiring process and treated it as part of the reason they wouldn't be making an offer. Afterward, I found out that he also asked my former coworker about her previous compensation during her interview!! And that's also not legally allowed where we live.

I know I chose to share personal information, so that part is on me. But I'm asking how other people handle this without the interview immediately becoming awkward, or without it seeming like I'm confirming the answer when I dodge it. I'd be grateful for any advice!!

I found a role that honestly looks like a dream role - the job description aligns almost exactly with my background, and the organization is working on something I'm extremely interested in (it's basically the topic that got me into this field in the first place). The part that's making me confused is the salary range. It's about $120k higher than what I had in mind ($175k vs. $295k).

I know the obvious answer is "just apply," and I understand that. My hesitation is more because of the size of the role, not the money itself. This is a large organization working on issues at the national level and also internationally. A lot of people there seem to have advanced degrees and very heavy credentials. I'm currently at a much smaller company, but I've done a lot of things that have made my company look strong and credible from the outside. The role is in communications.

How do large companies usually view someone doing similar work at a smaller place? Is it reasonable for me to think I can step into something at this level, or am I underestimating the size of the leap? I feel like I'm capable, but I haven't worked at a scale this large before. I also found the person who had the job before me, and her background is honestly very strong.

I'm a software developer and I was recently told that my role will be eliminated at the end of this year after a reorg at the company. I know I'm supposed to use the remaining paid time I have to look for another good software development job, and I've already polished my resume and updated LinkedIn.

But every time I sit down and try to apply for jobs in this field, I feel like I hit a wall, like... I just can't keep doing this anymore?

The strange thing is that I know I'm lucky. I understand that being able to live this way, in this place and time, isn't something to take for granted. But it's become harder to ignore the feeling that many of the "problems" I get paid to solve only exist because there's a business model that depends on them continuing to exist.

I spent about eight years fixing imaginary problems, and when I look back, the last job that felt tangible was an entry-level role dealing with customers, where I was making about a third of what I make now. I'm not saying all software is like that. I know there are people building useful and important things. But even though bullshit jobs definitely aren't limited to software, it's clear they're heavily clustered around people sitting in front of computers all day.

What are we even building all of this for, and who is actually benefiting from it?

I'm 24 years old and I live with my mother, who helps take care of my grandmother. In a few months I'll turn 25, and honestly, I'm tired of living like this. My mother has been getting by on government assistance for a long time, and I keep going from one crappy retail job to another. I just finished my job at a place because they cut my hours down to about 10 hours every 5 weeks - yeah, seriously, man... I'm just trying to break this cycle. I want to be able to put money in my mother's hand knowing it came the right way.

I'm not trying to become some rich guy with a mansion and a Lamborghini or anything like that. I just want to find a real path... Anything, any route, that puts me in a better financial position and keeps me from stressing every time a bill comes in. I don't have the answers; I'm just a young Black man trying to do more with my life. The hardest part is that I don't really have anyone to guide me. I stopped hanging out with my old friends because a lot of them wanted to be in the streets and do stupid things that could land them in jail... And some of them got caught up. And when I talked about wanting to learn sales or get into something legit, they acted like I thought I was better than them.

In short, I'm a decent guy coming from difficult circumstances. I need financial guidance, not handouts. I'm not asking anyone to save me; I just want real advice and direction because I've never truly had that, you know what I mean? If you read all of this, I appreciate you. And you can also send me a private message here. Thanks, everyone.

This is my first job after college. Before that, I had an internship, and I was literally sitting around most of the day doing nothing. Honestly, I thought that was because I was an intern and no one knew what to give me to do.

Now they're paying me a good salary, and I have my own office, a laptop, benefits, and everything... And most days I still don't do much. When I first got hired, they gave me a project that was supposed to take several months, and I finished it much faster than my managers expected, and they said they were very happy with the result. After that, it was basically silence.

The only real task I have today is to order supplies online for the office. That's the whole list. I'm a mechanical design engineer. They're paying me for my brain, and I'm sitting here watching clips from King of the Hill and scrolling on my phone like I'm in a free period. I would honestly hide in a conference room and take a nap, if it weren't for my manager walking past my office on his way to the printer four times a day.

Is this normal in office jobs??? Are other people doing this too? Every so often my manager gets swamped, throws a bunch of work at me, I finish it quickly, and then we go back to having nothing for a few weeks. He keeps complaining about how much he has to do, and I'm sitting there thinking... Then why not give some of it to the person you hired?

I've directly asked him to get me involved in more projects, and sometimes he agrees a little, but it never really continues. What should I do to build a more active role here without becoming annoying to my manager every week?

I've been grinding away at this tech company for almost three years. First one online, last one still replying to messages, the same stupid routine every day. My manager pulled me into a 1:1 on Monday and said, "Good news, we're moving you up to Senior Delivery Lead." For maybe twenty seconds, I thought that was a good thing.

Then I asked what the salary increase would look like, and he looked at me with genuine surprise, as if I'd asked for company stock and a corner office. He said that because of the current "budget environment," they aren't doing salary increases right now, but the new title is a "strong signal" for my career path. Great. So now, as Senior Lead, I'm supposed to oversee four junior people and take on the weekly stakeholder updates my manager used to handle. Honestly, it's incredibly insulting.

They want me to be grateful that I got more responsibilities with the exact same paycheck. I should've understood it when leadership kept talking about "career development paths" at the last quarterly meeting. Like they're dangling a carrot, except the carrot is just a screenshot of a carrot.

The worst part is they've already posted it in the company Teams channel. So now people are sending me congrats messages while I'm sitting here realizing I've been publicly boxed into a massive increase in work without a single dollar more. Honestly, I feel like I'm being punished for being competent. How is this normal?