u/MyBeliefs

Since I was young, I never knew that when I cursed, it happened. Someone told me not to. That was weird. But I was cyberbullied in 2022. I'm not the kind to attack someone, and I was kind of fearing pain and didn't want people to bother me. So I had this gut feeling that they were preparing something. I have been good at meditation since high school. I know when someone looks at me or later, I find out that I know when they talk about me. (I know, it's weird.)
So I was disgusted by life. I'm hitting rock bottom, struggling while it feels like doing me wrong helped others to be "higher" than me. It disgusts me. I'm asked to not use my sharp tongue to defend myself while people get away with it. I don't care what happens. I want public humiliation karma-ed with public humiliation. So yesterday, I saw one of them doing fine. That one sold me a lot like others. My cousin betrayed me for him. I said, "The truth will come out, and they will see," and I had a weird feeling that I was wrong. Like my breath is taken but kind of not? And since I was thinking, I kind of "cancelled." And today? I met one of them in public. Bro expected to take benefit of me.
Anyway, can someone kind of say something reassuring, if any? I'd say I'm a fighter. All my life. I'm just scared I won't live enough stuff to make it worthwhile. And can someone help me understand what happened? Thank you if someone reads me. I think im about to be a very bad person and im about to cut tie with everyone....

So there was this artist on instagram that always draws his girlfriend . I followed recently cuz i took inspiration from his art and its good. Anyway, today he made a post like “everyone should get a girlfriend, not mine” blablabla.

I thought on the “not mine” i wanted to warn him about r34. instead of saying “be careful”, i basically told him “don’t fret, you have your gf but the digital version you draw is kinda r34-able.” 2 people told me its a weird comment. At first I hesitated but I thought its instagram comment and frankly, i was never the type of person to comment so it was my first time. Then the author said something like “I dont understand shih”. So I thought he might not be aware of the r34 then i told him something like “okay. To explain it to you, YOU kiss your girlfriend because you have the irl privileges but i gooned to the digital drawing of your girlfriend before i found out she was your girlfriend”. (Which is true). I know it’s clunky. His reaction? He didn't just block me. He didn't just delete the comment. He GEOBLOCKED MY ENTIRE COUNTRY. I am now the reason my fellow citizens can't enjoy his art. I've reached a level of gatekeeping I didn't even know was possible ?

Anyway, one of his minions or fans or idk told me in private message that i was weird etc and that he should “slime me up or out” idk. Gotta admit, at this stade, i was acting goofy like with my friends and told them “yea, that’s how i make friends but you make me feel bad so imma apologize to him” (before i knew he blocked me)

They said “he already blocked you. That’s not how you make friends” Then send a meme with a dude saying “offspring 😭😭” they then added “learn some basic human interaction” and there i thought they were so nice to me giving internet commentary tips. Anyway, i laughed and told them “you’re funny, i like you”. They ewed me then gave me a seen then made their account private too.

Now I imagine him thinking “i draw several hours to represent my girlfriend and people goon to it ?”

TL;DR : I tried to "warn" an artist about Rule 34 by admitting I had already gooned to his drawings of his girlfriend (before knowing she was real). I thought I was being helpful/funny, but I ended up traumatizing him so hard that he geoblocked my entire country from his profile.