Unless someone has done a PhD, there is just no way for them to understand what you're dealing with
This is a rant. Not looking for advice.
From the low pay to ridiculous supervisor expectations and failed experiments. Sometimes the lack of supervisor expertise, their absence or micromanagement. People in my life just don't understand.
"Why don't you just tell your advisor you need more time?" Because my thesis due date doesn't give af if I need more time or not.
"Why don't you just take your leave you're entitled to?"
Again. Thesis due date doesn't give af.
"Have you told your supervisor how much work you did?"
They don't care what you do unless you give them a publication.
"You should just tell your supervisor to send his feedback on time". They genuinely believe their time is worth more than yours. You are just a means to an end. You're the only one meant to stick to a deadline but rules don't apply to them.
"You should ask your advisor for help"
Nope. They are remarkably unhelpful. They aren't knowledgeable in my subject area, and the more I involve them the more they use it as an opportunity to boost their egos or create more work for me. Luckily my co-supervisor is helpful. Unfortunately his suggestions don't align with my primary advisors so I get to juggled opposing views too.
"Have you told your advisors the experiment has been really difficult to troubleshoot and that's why results are taking long and are complex to analyse"
All they hear is I'm not working hard enough.
This whole thing is the perfect situation for advisors to avoid accountability. Everything is your fault. If you struggle, it's a right of passage. You're supposed to be burnt out, you're supposed to meet ridiculous expectations, you're supoosed to not take leave. All while not losing your shit or burning bridges because you need their reference to find a job.
Sorry, I'm getting ready to submit and the closer I get the more triggered I get and quips from my advisor. I tried to vent to my partner about something and he made suggestions that don't help me and no one who's not doing a PhD will know how trapped you are in your situation.
Before anyone says I should speak to HR, take leave, set boundaries, switch advisors etc, I just want to say 90% of my PhD has been spent trying to find ways to survive this time in my life. I've been to HR, I did set boundaries, I negotiated keeping my current advisor as long as they do x and y, I do also take leave. But some things still bleed through and it will only be enough when I leave.
Commiserate with me and tell me how people don't understand how a PhD runs your life even if it isn't just experiment or project struggles.