One week into practicum and I already feel drained from constant social expectations
I started my teaching practicum about a week ago, and I’ve been working late almost every day since then.
On the first day, I still had enough energy to smile, greet people, and act friendly. But as the days passed, I started to feel more and more drained.
Now even simple things like smiling, greeting, or waving to people feel surprisingly exhausting. I find myself wishing I could just be invisible sometimes—like “air”—so I wouldn’t have to constantly react when someone talks to me.
In our culture, especially in schools, I feel like I always need to initiate greetings when I meet someone older, and I have to smile all the time to avoid being seen as rude or unfriendly. If I don’t, I might be seen as disrespectful or even “arrogant,” which could affect evaluations.
Today I also joined a school camp activity with many students. Even though I wasn’t leading the activity, I felt overwhelmed by the noise, voices, and constant stimulation. It felt like my nervous system was tense the entire time.
I’m starting to wonder how people usually cope with this kind of social exhaustion. Or maybe I’m just not suited to being a teacher?
At the same time, I understand that most jobs require some level of social interaction, so I’ve been trying my best to adjust—smiling, greeting, and engaging with others even though I’m naturally not very social.
But honestly… I feel very drained.