u/NYCinALX

I'm 9 months postpartum with my first baby (a son, born in August). In December, I lost my mom to cancer. I weaned in February. And since February, I've been dealing with a brutal resurgence of panic disorder that had been mostly at bay for years.

I know the combo of post-wean hormones + grief + already having health anxiety as a trigger is basically a perfect storm. But knowing that doesn't make it easier when it's happening.

The panic attacks have been more intense than anything I remember. I had one today that lasted 90 minutes and even though I've had panic attacks for years, I genuinely wasn't sure it was one. I was begging my husband to call 911. He held me off because my vitals were normal, and eventually it passed. But in the moment I was completely convinced something was actually wrong.

What's been throwing me lately is that the attacks seem to get triggered by these random waves of EXTREME fatigue. Out of nowhere I'll feel so physically awful that my brain spirals into "something is really wrong with me" and the panic takes over. I don't know if the fatigue is hormonal, grief-related, postpartum thyroid stuff, or just my nervous system being fried - but the pattern seems consistent.

is anyone else navigating postpartum + grief at the same time? Or postpartum + a panic disorder flare? Especially the fatigue to panic loop?

I just feel really alone in this specific combination right now and would love to hear from anyone who's been there.

I'm 9 months postpartum with my first baby (a son, born in August). In December, I lost my mom to cancer. I weaned in February. And since February, I've been dealing with a brutal resurgence of panic disorder that had been mostly at bay for years.

I know the combo of post-wean hormones + grief + already having health anxiety as a trigger is basically a perfect storm. But knowing that doesn't make it easier when it's happening.

The panic attacks have been more intense than anything I remember. I had one today that lasted 90 minutes and even though I've had panic attacks for years, I genuinely wasn't sure it was one. I was begging my husband to call 911. He held me off because my vitals were normal, and eventually it passed. But in the moment I was completely convinced something was actually wrong.

What's been throwing me lately is that the attacks seem to get triggered by these random waves of EXTREME fatigue. Out of nowhere I'll feel so physically awful that my brain spirals into "something is really wrong with me" and the panic takes over. I don't know if the fatigue is hormonal, grief-related, postpartum thyroid stuff, or just my nervous system being fried - but the pattern seems consistent.

I've also been more depressed than usual on top of all this. Just kind of flat and heavy when I'm not anxious.
I'm working on getting more support (therapy, talking to my doctor), but right now I mostly just want to know: is anyone else navigating postpartum + grief at the same time? Or postpartum + a panic disorder flare? Especially the fatigue to panic loop?

I just feel really alone in this specific combination right now and would love to hear from anyone who's been there.