u/Nahomie666

I was stuck mourning the girl I was ten years ago.

The girl who didn’t know death.
The girl who wanted to be loved.
The girl who wanted to be heard.
The girl who longed to be acknowledged.

I was stuck mourning the girl I was six years ago.

The girl who was fiercely independent.
The girl who woke up motivated.
The girl who created without fear.
The girl who loved with her whole heart.
The girl who could find laughter in almost anything.

But today, I wasn’t mourning her.
Today, I found myself loving her.
Today, I sat beside her.
Today, I became curious.

I sat.
I listened.
I acknowledged instead of avoiding.

I realized I love the girl I sit with.

She is beautiful, yet intimidating.
She is courageous, yet sometimes arrogant.
She is curious, yet cautious.
She is compassionate, yet guarded.

And then something shifted.

Today, she no longer felt intimidating.
She no longer seemed arrogant.
She no longer looked so cautious.
She no longer felt guarded.

Instead, I saw myself.
She carries the same compassion I do.
The same anger I do.
The same beautiful, complicated mind I do.

She was never someone I needed to outgrow.
She was someone I needed to come back to.

So today, I sit with this little girl.

I don’t push her away.
I don’t silence her.
I don’t avoid her.

I sit.
I feel.
I listen.
I acknowledge.
I love.
Because that is all she has ever wanted.
Not to be fixed.
Not to be forgotten.
Only for me to sit beside her and truly listen.

i recently have been introduced to IFS with my therapist and i connected with an exile part, shes 8, and i'm working on getting her to trust me. i was telling my therapist about the first time i got abandoned and that's how we found her. but today i recent discovered another part and i don't think my 8 year old part experienced abandonment at 8. i am not sure if this is making sense im sorry lol. but there is a younger version of me that showed me the first time she felt that feeling. should i start connecting with the 3 year and 8 year old and try to blend them or work with them both separately? i currently am checking in with my 8 y/o part every morning, should i do that as well with the 3 y/o? i do have a therapist and i see her weekly and i know i can message her but a part of me feels bad for asking for advice from her on a sunday. i know i know this is just a protector. i will message her on monday. but for right now i would like others advice. thank you in advance!!