My [27M] gf’s [23F] old friend [23M] who confessed her feelings keeps coming back, how to handle this?
It’s tiring to talk about this topic but situation makes me tense and I thought writing about this would help to regulate emotions better and calm my mind.
We have a relationship almost a year long. She was classmate with this guy during uni. They never been together or anything but they were close friends. Before we’ve met, he (let’s say S) confessed her to his feelings. As much as she said, he is really in love with her. He even gave a very meaningful gift which she eventually got rid of. When he opened up flrst, she said she didn’t want a relationship and then they thought they could be friends, so they occasionally texted and talked.
After 2-3 months later, we have met and mutual liking developed fast. There are some situationship phase and eventually both parties wanted it to be official. Nowadays we are planning me to meet with his family so things are going well and more serious.
Anyways, after 3-4 months into the relationship she told me that S is still texting, sending songs etc. After that I wanted to listen to the son and it was obviously a love song. I told her that he is still making moves but we said “let’s not assume anything”. Maybe a week later another text came, I was really disturbed and we talked, she told him to not to text her if it’s not absolutely necessary. He also said “you misunderstood my actions” and that conversation ended there.
Now it’s been six months after that ending, total 3 refusal but ahe told me S texted her to ask about master programme which he also consider applying. At first he said “I called by mistake” she said “Ok no worries” and then he wanted to meet face to face to talk about education stuff. I’m not buying it ofc. I think he would try his chance every other couple months.
There are also possibility that they would work in same office in the future, during this time I will be abroad for 6 months.
Me and my gf talked about this and she said she don’t want to answer his questions and she would block him if he try to get contact again. I thought It should be enough to make feel safe, nothing to worry about or it shouldn’t cause any trust issues.
I said if he text again I could talk to him, she said ok. What would I tell tho? Threaten? Should I beat this guy?
I feel like my gf is trying to do her best to make me feel good, too. I don’t want to make things hard for her out of small topics. What does female redditors think about this?
Any questions, suggestions, making points are welcomed.
TLDR: My gf’s old friend confessed her to his feelings and kept coming back after 3 rejections. How to deal with this situation?