u/National_Mushroom175

So I’m having a pretty tough time right now

the only feminine thing I had was the breast augmentation and they ended up being too small for my frame and they are full of stretch marks.

The stretch marks are taking all over my breast. It’s incredibly ugly. I cannot show my breast to anyone I can’t even wear Demi bra because you can see the stretch marks.

I hate my breast so much.

Everything else is super masculine. My Ffs was a failure. I’m wondering what’s the purpose to be alive!

my family doesn’t talk to me. Friends went away when they knew I was trans. I don’t have any boyfriend, people I’m attracted to. They are not attracted to me. I get misgender a lot people see me as a dude. I’m not a woman or anybodys eyes but mine.

I’ve been living this shitty life. I have a shitty job everything my life is shit. Damn, I really wanna give up. I don’t know what to do. I’m very very depressed. Feeling super bad. I’m sorry for bringing this energy to the sub, but that’s how I feel.

Peace and I wish every one of you luck, love and so much happiness!

OK, it wasn’t actually a date so I met this guy at work. I was working and he came for a service. I wont disclose what I’m working at for privacy.

so I gave him a receipt and he was looking at me flirting smiling. He even told me I was beautiful. He was very handsome. He was tall blonde, beautiful eyes. I was like OK he’s cute. Hes hitting on me obviously but I didn’t wanna do anything cause I was scared as hell because I feel I don’t pass, but for him I passed so then I was talking to a friend. He was listening to that conversation with my friend and she told me she wanted to get a drink tonight and I recommended a bar to her and she said OK I might be going tonight then he came over and he said to me oh you didn’t recommend me a bar I would like to see where can I go tonight and then I talk to him about this bar and then he told me would you go with me? Do you wanna have a drink with me And I said yes he told me OK. What time you getting off work? I told him the time he said. OK I will pick you up then. Then he came 10 minutes early to the time that we agreed and he said that he needed to cancel because something came up and he needed to take care of that which I didn’t believe because it was very late, but I stay cool.

I told him like OK no problem. Good take your time and he said but I would like to reschedule. I would like to see you again so he said can you get your Instagram? I tap my Instagram his phone he followed me. I i followed him back then he liked a couple pictures of me then the day after he blocked me and I was shocked he showed himself very interested in me. He was smiling all the time looking at me all the time and then he just acting this weird and it made me feel super bad yeah but whatever I’m kind of used to it!

Spoiler alert I cried when I got home!

I’ve been on hrt for yeah and half. Already got BA and FFS (3 months ago, which did not work out).

So I went out with my cis female friend! It was Monday not too crowded but few guys (no one talk to me but to my friend). Did not care but definitely felt rejected!

Then she dropped me off at home and it was a guy standing right in front, when he saw me from far he said “dam, you look pretty”, when I got closer he then said “you’re a whole grown dude”. Then I immediately come into my building!

So apparently my ffs did not work at all! My surgeon is denying a revision! I was looking at the pics with my friend and I definitely don’t look female I look like man with long hair and wearing women’s clothes!

I’m pretty sad and disappointed! At this point I don’t see a real opportunity to finally be happy and reflect in the outside what is inside!

I always wanted to be a wife and a mother but no guys seem interested in me (understandable). At this point I just waiting to reincarnate and be a woman in my next life!

Just wanted to be normal, to be loved, to be respected! But this life is just too hard to get so