I'm just whether other trans people have had people who used to be super accepting/supportive change sides? I recently lost access to grandchildren that I'd seen many times since I started living authentically. The parents were amazing supporters of me early in my transition.
I had a bad start to the day yesterday. Because of this I turned up to my psychologist appointment sure that I would once again leave in crisis. We started talking (CBT) about the period in my childhood that damaged me the most. I shed lots of tears but didn't leave the session in crisis. No mindfulness, no dark thoughts, & no reaching out to other mental health supports. A first for me.
I live about 1300km from the nearest capital city. I'm on my second referral to a psychiatrist after the first one expired without any action. Is this common? How long did you have to wait?
PS. Telehealth doesn't work for me.
Every traumatic event I've endured is rooted in my being different. I've never been capable of being the person that society, or my family, expected me to be. It started almost immediately after birth - my mother has on several occasions told the story of how she thought I was "subnormal" (her word) with body language that demonstrates that she her love for me has always been conditional. I started off life with a body that was different. An abnormal, almost non-existent, puberty made it even more different. The abuse started when I was 3yo and it has yet to stop (age 56). I wouldn't have made choices that led to sexual assault & sexual harassment had I been normal. I would have been a parent had I been normal. I would have had a friend had I been normal. I would have felt safe at home had I been normal.
No matter how many times other people tell me that it wasn't my fault, I cannot stop blaming myself.
I see my GP today to get "return to work" paperwork completed. I'm scared for multiple reasons:
I went to the local ED on Friday (mental health crisis).
My GP is likely refer me to a private psychiatric hospital.
I don't have enough leave remaining to get paid while I'm in there.
Even if I refuse, the GP is likely to contact the rehabilitation person at my workplace.
I fear that it'll be a "three strikes and I'm out" situation at work. I was forced to undergo an independent medical examination before returning to work in 2025.