kinda of an aita
Dude i kinda always had a feeling of me beign aroace but since ppl keep telling me it was js a phase it hought id trya relationship told the dude that but he was still willing to try, i broke up with him and i feel bad cause he was in love with me apparently(which is so very weird cus tf u mean youre in love with me we barely even knew eachother for like two months) like he was a green flag and every nice and crap, he wouldve made a great friend, but i felt like vomitting evrry time he got too close or said i love u and it was like pulling teeth trying to say it back. It hurt cause i didnt want to hurt him but i felt happier, better than in the relationship once it was over. He took the break up kinda hard even thlugh ive been telling him from the start about me, i told him everything and we would have been bestfriends if he wouldnt have fallen in love with me, am i the asshole for thinking that?
Anyways we havent talked since and i get it ive gave him space, but like, he sent me a paragraph and then blocked me about his insecurities about how he was sorry for not being attractive and interestign enough to make me fall in love which made me disgusted. I respect him, but hearing that even after i told him thats just how i am, made me feel as if he didnt catually understand me at all this entire time. I think this is very mean of me because he just got his heartbroken and here i am thinking he is dramatic.
Is it weird that im so dam happy being aroace? It feels..like me, im free, im who i want to be,yk?
Thought i should say this here, maybe someone can relate. Again i am in no way in love with him, but this(not a relationship but conffesions which i have to reject) can happen again, and i dont know how am i supposed to keep friendships without worrying constantly in case they might fall in love with me?(which never used to be a problem before this dude somehow idfkhow fell in love with me, because i was...100 percent sure i was/am only great friend material and 0% person to be in love with. As in..i love a lot but im never in love, so idk why i thought people will always only see me as a friend and not a lover just as i do)