I really want to change my section pleasee pata nhi kiuu in chaprio ke sath daal diya itna tang kartay hai parhnay bhi nhi dete fazool kabhi ungli karte phir udher muh kar dete yaar please save me mein waqai mein achay number lene aya hu or parhnay aya hu please
This is my personal story of how i left Islam in a situation where I desperately wanted god but still choose to face reality and made a decision to be an atheist.
Hi I am from Lahore and i loved a girl that was 6 years older than me. She is my 2nd cousin ( My dad's cousin Daughter). She is so beautiful and i loved her so much that i never imagined her in a sexual way or not even a sexual thought for her
I started to pray so much and i was so religious, i started to read the Quran with Tafseer and i prayed tahajjud, Did Whatever Muhammad said. Like do this and your dua is going to be accepted. Dua has the power of this and that i was so stressed and i just 24/7 praying to Allah that Pleaseee i want to marry her and if you did I'm gonna spend my entire life spreading Islam
Before sleeping all i do is imagine her and as soon as i wake up my first thought was of her. I wanted her at all cost. I was getting mad and i was in such deep stress and in anxiety that my purpose of life was to get marry to her.
Then i started to get into deep Islam and i saw many things that were so wrong. Like Semen is made of Ribs and backbone etc stuffs
I was great in physics and i loved science and i wanted to prove god right and i was ready to debate an atheist
Later on i debunked many hadeeths and Quranic verses that these molvis will never tell us
And then i became an atheist and i still love her but now there is no god who can help me in this situation. Only hope that what makes us Human.