u/Necessary-Range-467

I quit teaching a little less than a year ago and since then, I’ve been on a journey restarting my career trajectory and working towards a career I’m truly passionate about. So far, I’ve made great progress but there’s one thing that’s been hindering said progress.

I don’t think my nervous system has recovered from being in the classroom. I struggled immensely with anxiety and overthinking in my teens and early 20s. Then, in my mid 20s (before becoming a teacher), I recovered quite a bit and stopped going down frequent anxiety spirals. Then I became a teacher. I was “on”, overstimulated, and in “fight or flight” mode for 8 hours a day, then further stressed out from the demands of admin. During my time as a teacher, I didn’t have time to worry about various different things because all of my focus was on the stress of being in the classroom and dealing student behavior, demanding admin, demanding parents, and a million other things every day. I didn’t realize the toll this took on my nervous system.

I’m now out of the classroom and my day to day life is immensely calmer. But my anxiety has not slowed down. On a daily basis, I’ve been going down spirals, worrying about various different things, ruminating about mistakes I made in the past, and being totally unable to relax. Whenever I finally stop worrying or ruminating about something, my brain finds something else. It’s annoying!! I just want to be able to be happy but my brain won’t let me.

Last night, I woke up at 2 am from my 12th? nightmare about being back in the classroom. I lost track honestly. These nightmares have been happening on almost a weekly basis despite being out of the classroom for almost a year.

Genuinely I don’t know what’s happening to me and I’m wondering if any other former teachers have gone through something like this after leaving the classroom?

I (29M) moved to San Diego about a year ago and I’m feeling terribly homesick, wondering even if I made the wrong decision.

For the past 11 years before the move, I’ve lived on the CA Central Coast, the Monterey Bay Area specifically. Overall, my experience living there was a net positive. I’m a nature lover and the access to nature on the Central Coast is unmatched. I miss having miles and miles of pristine wilderness right in my backyard that I could escape to whenever I wanted. I miss the crisp, clean air and deep blue sky. I miss the redwood forests and rolling hills dotted with oak trees. I miss seeing wildlife when I’m out exploring. I miss the foggy mornings that eventually give way to sunny days that feel like Heaven on Earth. I miss the wild, rugged coastlines of Big Sur and north of Santa Cruz.

The Central Coast was truly my kind of place and as I get older, I’m really learning that I’m a true nature lover at heart. Nature makes me happy.

The one thing I struggled with while living on the Central Coast, however, was finding community. It was hard to date and make friends there as someone in their 20s. The population skewed older and most people my age didn’t stick around in the area for long. I craved connection with people and while I did occasionally find that on the Central Coast, it was always fleeting. Every relationship wasn’t willing to commit and most friendships ended because they moved away.

still young for better odds and finding that community I craved, and I chose San Diego. I figured San Diego would be perfect as it’s a big city that has good surf (I’m also a surfer), and nature access.

I’ve now been here almost a year though, and I haven’t really accustomed to the place yet. On paper, it seemed perfect, but I’ve been really struggling to be truly happy here. The nature is definitely here, and I’ve had some wonderful experiences out in places like Mission Trails and Los Penasquitos, but it’s just not the same. I can’t really describe why, but it just feels different in a way I don’t really like. Drier maybe? There are places that give me more Central Coast vibes further east like Cuyamaca State Park and Mt. Laguna, but those places are an hour drive away and not immediately accessible like the wilderness areas on the Central Coast.

Also, I have a girlfriend now who I met down here. She’s absolutely wonderful and unlike any partner I had on the Central Coast. The one overall plus I’ve had since the move. I even feel bad that I’m feeling this way even though I have a wonderful girlfriend. Outside of her though, I haven’t made one close friend. I have a coworker I go out to the bar with occasionally, but that’s it.

I’m wondering how much more time I should give it before deciding I should just move back? Are there things I can do to help me learn to love the place?

I understand I may not get a ton of sympathy as San Diego is a place most people dream of living in, but I’ve been really struggling to love living here