u/Neith-Dino25

I have always felt fear or disgust towards physical contact; I rarely let my mother or my friends hug me.But that really pisses me off when it comes to getting medical tests done or letting a doctor examine me.I don't like doctors' offices, I hate them. I don't know if it's related to the abuse I suffered, but the person who raped me when I was a child owned a pharmacy and a doctor's office. My memories of the event itself aren't very clear because I was very young and it was very traumatic for me, but I do remember the sensations.

And well, now in my adult life that causes me a lot of problems I've had an ingrown toenail for almost a year and I haven't been able to treat it because that means going to a doctor's office. I know it's not as invasive a procedure as others, but the last time I went for the same reason I ended up in a very bad crisis He almost kicked the person who was serving me, I felt so sorry for him, I feel like a child throwing a tantrum but I'm almost a 20 year old man

I don't know what to do. I know I need treatment as soon as possible because I can't walk properly anymore due to the pain. I've bought lidocaine to ease the pain, but I know that won't always help.I've thought about buying valerian pills to calm myself during the procedure, but I'm scared.